VA State Police - Again

Do the VA State Police have to memorize the Trooper's Pledge? Well if they do, they forget much of it. Two State Troopers (traveling pairs again on 64 East/Why always East?) were pacing traffic this afternoon at a comfortable clip of 65 mph in the 55mph zone. So I'm not complaining about their disregard for the speed limit. But I am a tad pissed that they don't use their signals.

• Trooper-whoever in the car with license plate number 5082. You headed north on 95 from 64 East. You might consider providing more advanced notice than the nanosecond ghetto-blink of your directional signal. I'm glad I wasn't in the lane you suddenly decided to merge into.
  • Buddy Trooper (License plate number 4972) that head south on 95. You are a complete ass, not even giving some old guy in a clunker (not me, I'm not that old) even the courtesy of the ghetto-blink.

Yes, I have a good memory, but I also text while driving. But I use my god-damned directional signal! And so should you. okay I'm done whining. But then again, I'm still a bit bitter about your response time from when I was shot at on I-64.

Today was a good day. I fit into a green sweater that I had not worn in years. And by "fit", I mean I stretched that sucker to hell and back last night and a bit more this morning so it would fit. I wanted to wear that because it was chilly out and it was the shade of green that fancied my mood.

No Stephanie, there is no Irish Code about what constitutes as Green clothing appropriate to wear on St. Patrick's Day. Your green jacket was fine. I'm sorry I made you feel joked into going home at lunch to get a green shirt. *if your wondering - For Real!*

Green - oh yeah! Where the heck is my money going? GAS BILLS, that's where. Most abundant resource there is, MY ASS. *okay so I had one more whine*

Highways

Idiots!!

Virgina State Police car, license Plate 128-182L, you are a whole ass.

Thank you for driving the speed limit of 55mph along I-64East to I-95South. I understand that your precious cargo you were carrying in the backseat needed to get to his special appointment safely. I appreciate that too. What I don't appreciate is your lack of use of your left signaler to alert me to the fact that you intended to merge into me. Not ahead or behind me, but into me. Thankfully I saw that you didn't even look when you weren't signaling and I adjusted to avoid an accident with not just you but the asshat that was riding my tail. Kudos to your brother in blue that was also carrying precious cargo to his destiny (License Plate 128-181L); he was intelligent enough to use his signal when he slowly merged with oncoming traffic on to I-95South.

And to you, you friggin nitwit ponytail blonde female driving the Volvo at 8:00am on I-64West this morning; You also need to learn to use your signal as you're are merging directly into my driver side door. You so narrowly missed me as I layed on my horn to alert you to the fact that you are in fact a stupid bitch. And no, I didn't find it funny when you waived me off twiddling each of your fingers at me like we were best friends. Next time put your damn cell phone down. I hope you spill hot coffee - all over Ms. Pus.

AND, to Mr. Construction worker in the red van that was following so close that I could count your chest hairs; Next time, follow me home all the way, damn it!!!!

Kleptomania

Medically speaking, kleptomania is "an obsessive impulse to steal regardless of economic need, usually arising from an unconscious symbolic value associated with the stolen item." That is not what happened today at the Grub Kitty.

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A man attempted to steal some food. He was apprehended until the police arrived, which was rather fast. This all happened as I entered the store. When I left the two officers were escorting the man out in handcuffs.

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The man was stealing food. Items of necessity that he apparently thought he needed, but was unwilling or unable to pay for. He was not stealing the most recent issue of TV Guide or some useless item. Visually his "economic" need appeared reasonable. I'm not saying it was right. Just that he seemed in need. And don't take any of this as pity for the guy because it was a stupid thing to do. He's an adult and should know better.

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Now, this is what I don't understand, and maybe you can help me. People in the check-out lines were saying that it's sad. Even the cashier said it was sad, to her. They didn't mean the situation was "sad," as in pathetic. They meant "sad," as in emotion. I said the situation was unfortunate, not sad. The looks I got were evil. *Lucky for them I didn't get ugly, but I was about to.* Then the lady-cashier on the other side said, "I don't feel sorry for his dumb ass, he had it coming!" The grumbling ensued and I just got myself out quickly. So what do you think? Was the situation sad or unfortunate? Or is there a better word for it.

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Maybe I should have titled this blog as "shop-lifting," but Kleptomaniac is more eye-catching.