Mighty Mouse GL

Mighty Mouse GL
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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Highways

Idiots!!

Virgina State Police car, license Plate 128-182L, you are a whole ass.

Thank you for driving the speed limit of 55mph along I-64East to I-95South. I understand that your precious cargo you were carrying in the backseat needed to get to his special appointment safely. I appreciate that too. What I don't appreciate is your lack of use of your left signaler to alert me to the fact that you intended to merge into me. Not ahead or behind me, but into me. Thankfully I saw that you didn't even look when you weren't signaling and I adjusted to avoid an accident with not just you but the asshat that was riding my tail. Kudos to your brother in blue that was also carrying precious cargo to his destiny (License Plate 128-181L); he was intelligent enough to use his signal when he slowly merged with oncoming traffic on to I-95South.

And to you, you friggin nitwit ponytail blonde female driving the Volvo at 8:00am on I-64West this morning; You also need to learn to use your signal as you're are merging directly into my driver side door. You so narrowly missed me as I layed on my horn to alert you to the fact that you are in fact a stupid bitch. And no, I didn't find it funny when you waived me off twiddling each of your fingers at me like we were best friends. Next time put your damn cell phone down. I hope you spill hot coffee - all over Ms. Pus.

AND, to Mr. Construction worker in the red van that was following so close that I could count your chest hairs; Next time, follow me home all the way, damn it!!!!

3 comments:

Michael said...

LOL...I love your interpretation of horn signals...not "hey, wake up" but rather, "hey, you are in fact a stupid bitch." I love it!

Your word verify is "trista." How Bachelorette.

Kelly said...

Too funny as I know that stretch of highway too well and all the idiots who drive it... if I win the lottery tomorrow, I am going to drive 5 mph to work on Monday morning... well, pay someone to do it while i sit in the backseat and drink... jsut to fuck with everyone who has fucked my morning commute... sorry for the language, i am sick and half lit...

Tom said...

I think I was there yesterday morning at 8am! Was driving back down here from my b/f's house...

That stretch of 64/95 is the worse. I am so gla I don't have to do that every day! "Yep Iam"...

Tom

ps: word verificarion is "wixigm", sounds like something you do to a meal gone bad...