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Prove to me that you are a psychic.

Tell me what I'm thinking.

Swine Flu

Swine Flu?

Facebook: Vampire Wars

Join me on Facebook and start sucking

email me to add me.

My Lawn

I'd be happy to have mower lines.

Right now, it's getting out of control.
And I'm not feelin' it.

What's Your Hobby??

You enjoy staying in your own little world for hours, doing things that other people don't always understand. The finished product can be wonderful but you have to do it on your own time, without outside pressure. When you're bent on something, no one else can distract you.

Our Potentially Ridiculous Hobby Suggestion For You: String art Make art by gluing string to a surface and then painting it. It should take forever and keep you busy? do the outlines first.

Take the survey??

Your scores: Focused 24.6 Resourceful 21.8 Motivated 21.29 Serious 20.52 Creative 19.8

Hmfph!! String Art... Focused I can see. Bored out of my freaking skull, I am not.

Bottomless Pit

Aw crap, I woke up really hungry.

Even my car is hungry for gas.

This can't be good.

And it's not payday.

I'm a Prick

I've really been a prick this week. (no that pic above is not me, I'm cuter) I haven't meant to be mean, evil, nasty, or ill-intended; but my mouth at times has charged out in front of me too much this week. And I'm not accustomed to reacting in this fashion. I usual go through a period of keeping to myself and just being quiet. But this week, I think that I have been a sarcastic manipulative bullying prick.

I have been teasing the crap out of dude behind me. But I did tell him yesterday that I really appreciate him being able to take a ribbing because I've needed a punching bag this week. Which he in turn said that he tends to use me that way as well.


Other dude that is a bit mousey; I've been poking at him all week to take vacation time because - he needs to, he needs to, he hasn't taken any time off yet this year, he needs to, he has forfeited a week of vacation time for the past 5 years, and he needs to because I need a week of him not saying HAPPY MORNING! And ya know, he's planning a trip in July. Maybe not as soon as I would like, but he's planning.


Dude across the way from dude behind me - poor bastard has mount redoubt exploding on his forhead and I, of course, had to comment and comment. Good thing is he joked back about it and tends to appreciate the more evil and perverse things in life.


oh, I could go on - I even said "Fucking" in a meeting this week without batting an eye. My boss tried to stop me, cause she knew where it was going, but I couldn't be twarted. Yeah, I think a conversation is going to happen on that one. ...don't care. I really don't. Fucktard in earlier post really pissed me off.

What cracks me up is cute young female thing to my left and back always tells me I'm the happiest person she knows. This week even, she's told me that each day. I always seem to make her laugh and feel good about life... She must be missing out on all the other fun I've been having this week. I need a recharge:

Here he comes to save the day,
in blackest night or brightest day.
In evil’s sight, there’s wrong to right.
Beware this Lantern’s power light,
‘cause Mighty Mouse is here to fight.

Back to Normal

Okay everyone, you can go back to your normal hectic egotistical self-centered lives. Earth DAY is over and now you can enjoy 364 days of filthy littering bliss.

Aaaaah, why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow.

oh look, Indonesia is actively pursuing a Green program. Let's sit back and watch to see if it works. We need about 50 years of data on that though.

Hello Mr. Lazyboy chair...

Earth Day 2009

Mr. Sun can't fix it all by himself, you know.

cRanKy PaNts

I had no idea that there really are Cranky Pants out there! Fo' Shizzle!!

It's my blog and I'll blog what I want to. But I do feel a sliver of a need to apologize for yesterday's post because it was suddenly blessed with rampant F-bombs. I also need to clarify that I didn't retort back to the customer. I was illustrating what I wanted to say back, but could not because of work ethics. Damn those. I did however, firmly advise him of his options.

I also had to double think how mad I was yesterday. Today I had a several brain tremors of annoyance that I had difficulty putting into check. There are going to be off-days that the brain meds just don't want to calm the savage beast. Today was one of those days. I almost shared a bit of my Temporal Lobe with a colleagues Jaw, just to shut that person up. No not really, But I do have Ally McBeal visualizations to help move me along in the thought process. What I'm trying to say is that I need to recognize that Mr. Cranky Pants is upon me and I need to play nice.

But not with fucking Mr. NY, the dickwad. (insert Larry the Cable Guy apology here)

oh - HAIL NO, You di'int!

Ya know, at work I go about my business and do my best to be the ever patient worker-bee that helps the community at large. Most of the time I win. Sometimes I lose. And then there are days that I go about doing the nicest of things for someone and get bit by a snake. Well today was one of those days. I offered a man two reasonable choices to bring a peaceful end to his little drama in life and then he goes and ruins my day. Apparently I can take his god-damned "whatever it is I do" and fuck myself with it. That's not how he fucking wants it and he wants it his fucking way or no way at all. Does the fucker (me) understand all fucking that?

Pardon me Mr. Customer, but it's not 'fucker', it's Uncle Fucka to you. And I have several thousand of your testicles in the palm of my hand if you ever decide to get your head out of your ass. Because frankly, it's my way, or no way.

Fuck me?? - Fuck you asshole!!

We The People

I've been meaning to post about this since the November 2008 elections. Melissa Etheridge had insinuated that she was planning on not paying her 2008 State taxes and ended her statement that suggested the same for Federal. I don't know what she actually ended up doing. I imagine that she paid her taxes responsibly. Or at least I hope she did.

With the passage of California's Proposition 8, Etheridge stated the above in this blog post. She believes that she is being treated as less than a full citizen, therefore, she should not have to pay full taxes and that by doing so it smacks of 'taxation without representation'.

I tend to side with that notion, but not with holding back on taxes owed.

But I do think that there may be some sort of option to put at least a little bit of hurt, into Uncle Sam's Hetero-ego. On the State or Federal side; and mind you I have no knowledge if this is plausible or not, I just like the idea of it - I suggest paying the taxes, but holding them back from the IRS in an escrow account. The State and the Federal government are our landlord's, if you will. So if you can escrow your rent from a landlord for not acting in good faith on your tenancy, why can't you do the same to Uncle Sam?

This would mean that taxes have been paid, but held from our government to benefit from using that large sum of money in a timely fashion. Every little bit would hurt from the GLBT communities throughout the U.S.A. Just imagine the punch if supportive members of the Non-GLBT community followed suit.

Now, if I knew for sure that I could legally do that, you would see my name on the early list.

Hey Melissa Etheridge - are you listening?

Look out Spiff

Guilty Pleasure Bands

A colleague, was listening to a rather unusual band for that particular individual. I jested and did my best LOL affording plenty of rolled eyes. That's when it was explained to me, it was a guilty pleasure band - Roxette. See, if I were to choose, I'd have to pick Hot Tuna as my guilty pleasure band. But Roxette? doesn't that fall more under the embarassing but awkwardly pleasing bands. Much like The Thompson Twins would do.


My guilty pleasure bands would be KISS, ZZ Top, Fleetwood Mac, Molly Hatchet, Steppenwolf, Jackson Browne, The Doobie Brothers, .38 Special, and Heart. Now those are Guilty Pleasures.

But were I to admit to an embarrassing but awkwardly pleasing "band" - I have to say that I Honestly Love HER - Olivia Newton-John.

Which one's are yours?

Poke me again

I love my job.
I often wonder how I get any work done.

Everyday I must wear this shirt -->

It's part of my uniform that signals to others that I am there to be interrupted. Don't worry, at any time you feel the need to drop by my desk, please do. When you feel like calling, ring me up. When I'm on the chat system, which is all day, please message me. I want to help. I have no desire to do my job. I live and breath to know your job so that I can do it for you.

And if I don't answer my phone...
If I don't respond with in 2 seconds to your chat message...
Call dude behind me to see if I'm at my desk.
I'll be there waiting just for you.
Then make sure you drop by my desk, when I'm in Do Not Disturb.

And just to let you know that I serve you and only you; when I'm in a meeting that is facilitated by another person (most likely my boss), please come knock on the door and pull me out of that meeting. It was boring anyway and had no bearing on any responsibilities my job performance is based upon.

I trust we got that clear.

Pokemon: Snorlax

Can't

Stay

Awake.

Must

Sleep.

Must

Rest.

Blip

If it weren't for my prehensile tail today, I'd have felt completely worthless.

Wait!.... awww crap!

He-Man

On Friday, friend Wayne and I attacked my front yard with clippers, buzz-saws and the power of Greyskull. Well, brute strength more than Greyskull. You have to know Wayne to really understand. He's a teddy bear and nature bestowed upon him strength beyond measure. Sure, you can look at him and think he's strong, he's large man. It's simply an understatement to say he's strong. He really is powerful. And in comparison to me, he's... well... He-Man.

When we finished, we planned on going over to his place to do the same. By that time He-Man had powered down. So we planned on regrouping on Sunday since Saturday was to be rainy (see yesterday's blog). Today, I went over to his place; we had breakfast and then got to work. First we de-weeded and I swear the growth in his front yard was the spawn of Skeletor. There were some really vine-like plants that permeated the entire landscape. At the prickly evil dandelions of death, ugh. Then we pruned his Crepe Myrtle which is wonderfully naked now.

I swear, it's only appropriate in our relationship, that I am the bungling weakling - the comic relief. Yes, in this friendship, I am Orko. Wayne handled the buzz-saw like a novice professional. Had it been me, someone would have gotten hurt. I was much more suited for hauling away the debris. I was very grateful today was cooler than Friday.

By then, I needed to make a decision about heading over to the Sorceress' house for Easter dinner. I dropped by her fortress slightly before arrival time; tired, stinky, and feeling still rather full from breakfast. I really just wanted to lay down and nap. With the promise of wine in hand, I explained, and then magically whisked myself off to my dimensional universe.

Rain

Where's



MY



RAIN!!!

The 3 Variable Funny Test

Take the Testie?

Well That Advertising Sucked

Unless you can teleport to just about anywhere on command like Lockjaw from the Marvel Inhumans or Pet Avengers - you missed it. The Richmond VA, SPCA teamed up via the Barber Martin Agency with Wendy's. Up until March 28, 2009 you could have purchased a Wendy's Frosty(tm) key tag and gotten a free Jr. Frosty with every purchase through 12/31/2009. Okay fine, I went into a Wendy's today, you caught me. But I noticed the sign in the store advertising the now, stale promotion. Was it me, did I miss any other advertising anywhere: TV, Radio, Billboards...? You mean to tell me, in order to have known about the promotion at a WENDY'S, you actually had to walk into the stand-alone shop. To me, that was suckalicious advertising. The SPCA should question their efforts. Wendy's should question their commitment to the effort. And well, the ad agency should be fired.

Captain Caveman

Friday, I had to laugh at one point because I really did feel like Captain Caveman. At the time I was carrying my dufflebag and had on my fleece jacket. The dufflebag was my caveman club, because for various reason, it has a bunch of my life in it at the moment. The jacket, with is many pockets had all sorts of stuff in it. Someone at work asked me if I had a can-opener. While they meant, at my desk; I actually said yes, I have one here somewhere. Now if you know the character of Captain Caveman, the club functioned in many ways. But the Captain's fur was a catchall for just about anything. He'd reach in and pull out all sorts of stuff. Well - I reached into my fleece jacket and I pulled out a can-opener. In my mind, I chanted "CapTAIN CAVE-Maaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn!" And yes, as a matter of fact, my mind does work like that. Ironically, Captain Caveman got a haircut today. High and tight. Unga Bunga!

How long can you last?

Oh, I think I could last a bit longer...

Godzuki

All I could manage was yawning.
I don't think there was an ounce of Godzilla in me.
Today, the role of Thomas was played by Godzuki.

Stupid thoughts

I had all sorts of idiotic thoughts today. Some made sense and others were just blips in my brain that made me giggle. I knew that today would be a struggle. I woke up every hour on the hour. I swear I fell asleep soundly just prior to the alarm going off. Jezus I hate that.

I tend to shave in the shower. It's just easier. And I had the quirky notion to shave just half my face and go in to work.

I totally defied my priority list first thing in the morning. My mind said, go easy, do the easy items first. ... and I did.

The morning was flying by way to fast. Out loud (not that I really meant to) I said, I need time to slow down please. That didn't make dude behind me so happy and he chastised me because that meant his afternoon would go slow. Good!

After lunch I asked whiny dude what he thought of the notion that he was already dead and that THIS was his heaven. I giggled as I said heaven and he said hell.

I think only someone with my personality type can get away with telling their boss they look awful today. I did, she did, and she just laughed at me.

Steve Buscemi is not an attractive man. That's like saying Benicio Del Toro is attractive. I'm sorry that just isn't the case.

But David Cubitt is, and you can't tell me he isn't, because he IS.

I had other thoughts, but I'll sticky with David.

Burglar Busted

When it rains The Solomonster prefers the safety of the outdoor environment and his hiding area that is the crawl-space under my Florida room. Last Thursday it rained and then Friday morning it poured. He would not come in. Not even for his favorite bribery treat. So he stayed outside all day even when he would come out for my lunch visit.

My dog is a loving wuss. But, if you are not invited, knows I don't like you, or something just ain't right about you; he's very protective. I think the property protectiveness was working on Friday.

I found the back gate open, but not enough for a person (or my dog) to get through. It was only wide enough for a person to have second thoughts about coming into the yard.

I think my pink panther burglar got busted by Inspector Solomonster. But truth be told, the burglar, had he/she gotten inside; would have been sadly disappointed in his haul.

Mr. Postman

May 11, 2009 - Your stamp cost will increase again
Buy your Forever Stamps now.

Fine, whatever. Increase the cost of the stamp again. I sort of wish the USPS would just increase the stamp in larger increments. That way they don't keep doing it each years. Make the damn things .50 cents each for all I care. Maybe that will help them get a grip on their finances.

I have difficulty understanding how they are billions in the red. My postal carrier only delivers Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and the occasional Saturday. And to hell if the weather is bad. You won't see him or her, that one or the other one, if the weather is even slightly bad. At one point my neighborhood had a consistent postal delivery person. Now it's just a game of luck that you get anyone.

If you go to the Post Office, there are usually 2 clerks working. One consistently filters folks through the system. The other is chatting away with everyone and each other. "She" usually can service 1 customer every 15 minutes or so.

Did I just give her a pay raise?

You're so violet, Violet!

My dominant hues are red and blue (violet).
Are not! Everyone knows it's GREEN.
I'm confident and like showing people new ideas.
Oh, I don't really care if they're new ideas or not...
I play well with others and can be very influential if I want to be.
Unlike others, I share. As for influential - it's the position.

My saturation level is lower than average - I don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do.
It's not that I don't understand them, they just tend to really piss me off.
Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but I schedule time as I see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if - not everyone - sees my grand master plan.
Yep and it irritates my colleagues to no end, but my work holds water.

My outlook on life is bright.
That all depends on what issue and how deep the doo-doo.
I see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates me to see them get down on everything.
Yeah, I'm a fucking ray of sunshine.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Perception

Frustrating isn't it? Other than the birdie that Jadielady and I see, we can't figure out what the anti-image is. I was thinking about people's perceptions and I came along stuff like this. I'm not hunting down the answer until I give it more time, or until ya'll make some suggestions. So have at it folks. Tell me what you see. But why was I thinking about perceptions? Something a colleague said to me at work. She almost outed me to another colleague which was a result of a conversation she had previously had with another person. Apparently, I may be viewed as not a happy camper when someone "outs" me. That the anger is ME being angry with MY being outed. While I do care to some extent if I am outed, that's not really my concern.

What bothers me more, is the ability of the offending person doing the outing. I question how that person can be so inconsiderate to do that to another person. Gossip is gossip and nearly everyone does it or has done it. We talk to our friends, or people we believe to be friends and the Pert Commercial begins. Why does anyone talk about intimate details of another with anyone. Some of the answer goes back to perception. I know my friend at work almost outed me because she "believes she can" (perception) trust, the person she was talking to. And while I'm confident that the receiving party can be trusted; I'm not confident that same person would approve of the news.

Now here is where it gets sticky. I believe to the point of having the perception that my company is accepting of diverse lifestyles because I read my employee manual and it tells me so (hence I don't trust management and HR, ever). I believe that many - not all - (due to pre-conceived or otherwise perceptions) that my fellow colleagues are accepting of diverse lifestyles. The rub - my overpowering cynical streak believes that given the chance, my colleagues would use any type of information for ill, both purposefully and by accident. You may remember my post about my being a Pessi-Optimist. I believe in the positive but plan for the negative. I believe you can be trusted, but plan for you to be human. To my friend at work - I'm glad that you kept your mouth shut! Why, because I like my job. Now if you can get that other chic-a-dee near you to stop absentmindedly insinuating all the time, that would be a big help. Again, frustrating, isn't it?

The Selfish Gene

Oh my god! Never in my life have I experienced such total selfishness. I knew people could be cruel. I know people are very egocentric. I suppose when you consider someone a friend you just don't expect to be treated so mean. I went to a friends house to pick something up and I ended up staying for dinner. I didn't invite myself, I was asked. All I wanted was a drink and a pear slice. But NooOOOooo!!!, her two year old daughter wouldn't let me have any. Now come on, who's side are you on? Women want all the X's to themselves.