Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
- Why does Thistlewhite have death prickles?
- Why do I have a Tree growing from my porch steps?
- Why are their 20 rose blums on my dying rose bush?
- Why won't it stop raining so I can mow my yard?
- Why does Wonder Woman resemble a Dominatrix -->?
- Why am I contemplating going to see the Indigo Girls by my own damn self on Saturday May 31st?
- Why did my sort-of Ex from last year, call me out of the blue to tell me I was missed, and that dinner and a talk would be a good thing?
- Why is the BK Steakhouse Burger so darn good?
- Why is USPS postage going up to .42 cents?
- Why did I dream Underdog as my "Murphy" Avatar, for when I'm feeling used, abused and down on my luck.
- Why were the women in the office so quiet today?
- Why am I reluctant to buy manure for planting my Peonies?
- Why didn't I go into Psychiatry?
- Why, oh why, are blue birds - so gay?
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Last 2 SSN digits..... Payment by
00 through 20......... May 2
21 through 75......... May 9
76 through 99......... May 16
Last 2 SSN digits..... Payments by
00 through 09......... May 16
10 through 18......... May 23
19 through 25......... May 30
26 through 38......... June 6
39 through 51......... June 13
52 through 63......... June 20
64 through 75......... June 27
76 through 87......... July 4
88 through 99......... July 11
Filing a return after April 15 will delay your stimulus payment, probably about 2 weeks later than the schedule shows. A return must be filed by October 15 in order to receive a stimulus payment. See online calculator for an estimate of the amount you will receive.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Okay, I was going to beg you off one more day.
Because I'm still struggling to recover and not feeling the muse.
But - Jadielady shared this blog with me tonight
As thick as the congestion is in my lungs,
THIS helped via laughter loosen some of it up.
Thank you Frankie!!! So Much!!!
and I'm sorry.
FRANKIE CAN'T RELAX
Read: GROSSEST. PET STORY. EVER.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
- Are you a homeowner? I can tell you are.
- What are you going to spend the money on?
- Are you going to buy something for the house?
- Do you need a home equity loan?
- I noticed you don't have a savings account with us, would you like to deposit this money into one? I can tell you...
- Are you going to spend it all in one place?
- Do you have several items you're going to purchase?
- Well, I think you should buy your girlfriend something nice... *ummm*
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
- Kitty, and
So I sat on the back porch and let him watch the Opossum invade his space while holding onto him. He so very badly wanted to go play with them. I told him, "Careful - Bad Kitty." He just looked at me like, "but dad, surely not!" We waited and watch. All the while I kept repeating "Careful - Bad Kitty." I then let him loose. He slowly walked around and the Opossum just watched him. He slowly meandered up to the larger one. It hissed and he jumped back and ran to me. "Daddy, Bad Kitty." I had to laugh. But he learned. The bad kitties stayed for about a month then moved on, as they normally do.
The past couple of days, he's been acting sort of funny wanting to stay out longer and sniffing at the hole in the door to the garage (which is a fancy word for saying structure that needs to be torn down.) Tonight - I discovered that the bad kitties had returned. Dog did his business and came right back in for what he knew would be some people-food yummy scraps. Well that ended quickly enough. So I took him to the back door and told him to sit. He and I had a man to dog revisit on the "bad kitties." He looked at me, as if to say, "you dork, I've been trying to tell you that for days. Can I go back out and have tea with my friends, please?" They are just outside hanging inside the garage. I think my dog thinks he's their protector. Yes, he's had his rabies vaccine, but I'm not worried. I'm more worried about the chow-chow that has learned to climb fences. It's the funniest durn thing to watch. And my dog - he don't be likin' no chow-chow's, at all.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
- Tuesday night television stinks. It's nothing but reality shows.
- Rain connotes wetness. Wet pavement means that you will slide more. Use your brakes gently people and I know I blogged about your durn directional signals, they do exist!
- Dude in front of me in the check-out line. Don't pay entirely with pennies - It serious pisses me off and is not as funny as you seemed to think it was. That's why I looked at you like that you moron.
- I swear, if I ever have children - they will be "right" in the head, I promise.
- I'm not overly intelligent, but don't blame me if your not competent and don't have a lick of common sense.
- Mediocrity may satisfy some, but it sucks to me.
- I let Susanna Hoff influence me into a Manic Tuesday. Damn Her!!
Wednesday morning I'm listening to "Happy" by Sister Hazel.
I'm going to listen to it and repeat it and repeat it and repeat it.
Then, when I pull into the parking garage, I'm playing "Starfish."
I'm gonna friggin have a better day tomorrow if I have to hurt someone.