I'm a Prick

I've really been a prick this week. (no that pic above is not me, I'm cuter) I haven't meant to be mean, evil, nasty, or ill-intended; but my mouth at times has charged out in front of me too much this week. And I'm not accustomed to reacting in this fashion. I usual go through a period of keeping to myself and just being quiet. But this week, I think that I have been a sarcastic manipulative bullying prick.

I have been teasing the crap out of dude behind me. But I did tell him yesterday that I really appreciate him being able to take a ribbing because I've needed a punching bag this week. Which he in turn said that he tends to use me that way as well.


Other dude that is a bit mousey; I've been poking at him all week to take vacation time because - he needs to, he needs to, he hasn't taken any time off yet this year, he needs to, he has forfeited a week of vacation time for the past 5 years, and he needs to because I need a week of him not saying HAPPY MORNING! And ya know, he's planning a trip in July. Maybe not as soon as I would like, but he's planning.


Dude across the way from dude behind me - poor bastard has mount redoubt exploding on his forhead and I, of course, had to comment and comment. Good thing is he joked back about it and tends to appreciate the more evil and perverse things in life.


oh, I could go on - I even said "Fucking" in a meeting this week without batting an eye. My boss tried to stop me, cause she knew where it was going, but I couldn't be twarted. Yeah, I think a conversation is going to happen on that one. ...don't care. I really don't. Fucktard in earlier post really pissed me off.

What cracks me up is cute young female thing to my left and back always tells me I'm the happiest person she knows. This week even, she's told me that each day. I always seem to make her laugh and feel good about life... She must be missing out on all the other fun I've been having this week. I need a recharge:

Here he comes to save the day,
in blackest night or brightest day.
In evil’s sight, there’s wrong to right.
Beware this Lantern’s power light,
‘cause Mighty Mouse is here to fight.

Stress

Stress - What Stress? I feel fine.

Something must be getting under my skin. I'm not sure what. All my life I was an avid nail-biter, a true professional. About a year and a 1/2 ago I started taking Lexapro to calm the voices in my head that said "Smack her, smack her hard!" I described the physical and mental nonsense to my doctor. My back was tense, crawling with tension. I wasn't sleeping well. I couldn't focus worth a damn. Everything and everybody was driving me nuts. So my handsome doctor said it was time to give Lexapro a try. Meet Lexapro:

When I first started taking this wonderful little friend, I was so dog-gone sleepy for about 2-3 days. Try taking that while at work - zzzzzzzz. Well the first symption was sleep. But the next symptom was this odd feeling of a line being drawn down the center of my brain, separating the two halves. Like the drug was telling the two halves to stop fighting with each other. Then I noticed that I could focus so much easier. Then, chatterbox behind me was not so worrisome. I could block her incessant rantings all day long and get my work done. Then I was sleeping better. Then all was well in my universe and I was on autopilot most of the time. One of the best side effects was that I noticed I had stopped biting my nails after about 3 months with my friend. But it wasn't cheap, even with a solid health plan. It wasn't until a generic came out in August 2008 that I could purchase my new friend, Citalopram, meet Citalopram:

A smooth transition, with only a couple days of drowsiness, then back on the easy-button. And until recently I have been fine and dandy. And a whole lot cheaper, being a generic brand. But I have noticed lately that I have been pissier than normal and anger is not one of my better controlled emotions. I'm not hulking out, just having control putting it in check. Several posts back I wrote about some trouble with friends. It's an irritant that won't go away in my mind. I really like the new guy at work - he's funny and not stress inducing, unless he talks all day. And that one thought is what brought the origins of needing Lexapro back in focus. I'm stressing about something but not entirely sure what. So this weekend I decided to up my dosage (Dr. said I could) of the Citalopram for a short while, just to get over the edge. Well the wet and soggy weekend was my opportunity to do that and accomodate any grogginess. Oh sweet sleep, hello my 'other' friend.

aaaaaaaaahhhhh. I really suggest this medication for those of you that may be under similar stressors. And unlike other mood enhancers, it does NOT mess with your horny. ka-ching!