Merry Christmas Damn it!

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most joyous traditions of the belief persuasion of your particular choice, but with no respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own beliefs, as well as those who choose not to practice any belief-system at all. Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars-of-choice of other cultures, whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to race, creed, color, religion or sexual orientation.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)