Butts

There were actually much more offensive pictures I could have selected, but I elected to go rudimentary. I was having one of the politically incorrect work conversations today with a friend. We were discussing days that you feel fat versus days that you don't feel fat; even though truth be told, you are fat. The conversation led to ass-fat. Now, I for one acknowledge that I have a cute butt and you won't be able to sway me otherwise. Don't even try, it's adorable, really. My friend admitted to having a square ass. But I did share that I could visualize the past heart-shape that did once exist. To which she advised that at one time there was a killer fanny there, but no more. It had been reshaped by her desk chair. *I admit to an evil thought of the chair having had some help along the way but did not say that* So the conversation led to some individuals with no butts, flat butts, oddly misshapen butts. We even talked about the wonder-butts that are so round that they migrate to the front. But I think the funniest were the butts that are shaped by how a person sits. Ever notice those folks that have one big butt-cheek and a sort of smaller other cheek that is slightly angled. We think that's caused by sitting on one cheek all day long. We did not however discuss the cottage cheese butts squeezed into Lycra pants for a 12 year old. That would have put the conversation into the harassment arena.

Hell

Oh dear jezus, I was in my own personal corner of hell today. You will recall the unmentionable and annoying co-worker that finally found a path out of her job recently. It's been so nice. Today was our send-off lunch for her, even though she has been departed now for 2 full weeks. We went to TGIF's, the one close to work that I had never been to. I was asked to sit on the inside, hence the beginning of my little corner of hades.

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I was the only one there with testicles. The conversation promptly started with "Did you get your nails done?" by the most chatty of cathy's that has departed us. I immediately retracted into boredom and wondered if this was how the lunch would take shape. Yes, Yes it was.

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I generally take lunch away from work to go walk the solomonster. But no, today I had to endure chatter. The conversation quickly turned to her new job and how she is excelling. Really? Within 2 weeks? fine. Then it turned to more work talk. Umm, I get away from work at lunch to get away from work during my lunch break. See my theme. Then the other She started in about how busy we have been. Then the tolerable she chimed in about numbers and issues. And yet the other "she" added her two cents about how her area which is similar to our area yet different and the impact it has on the workload. I was unusually silent and the tolerable "she" caught on, but did nothing to alleviate my exclusion.

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I suppose I could have joined the conversation, but I didn't have a thing to say. Especially when the conversation turned to husbands. Seeing as I don't have one, I had a bit of difficulty relating to husbandly stupidity. Even within my potential self.

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Food! YES thank you god for the food. It was horrible and our terrible "she" waitress must have left it sitting up on the counter too long as she was waiting on other tables.

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I was never so happy to get in my car to light up a cigarette and get back to work.

Gas Prices

With gas prices at my favorite station charging $2.68 a gallon for regular unleaded; dropping about .04 cents a day, I was thinking:
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22 days left until election day - at .04 cents a day, is there time enough for an .88 cent drop. Might gas prices go down that far? Is a $1.80 a gallon in our future? *I can dream*
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I can't wait to see the amazing jump in gas prices on November 8th, back to over $3.50 a gallon for regular unleaded.
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Now if I can just figure who my vote goes to for a current Thank you.
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*Nobama*

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End of Day update: $2.54/gal at my favorite station

A dog's life

Wow, I'm a Bulldog!
Bulldog
The Comedian

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I may look like the troublemaker of the pack, but it turns out my tough guy mug is worse than its bite. I'm really a softie, loyal to my friends and family and A-OK with meeting new pooches, but I prefer to do so with a high-five instead of a paw-shake. Proud of my great sense of humor, I have got a whole litter of jokes I draw from to keep the mood playful and the positive energy alive. A perfect afternoon for my involves a leisurely stroll with a pal, followed by a little downtime in an easy chair with a frosty can of brew and a remote control within easy fetching distance. I shed accusations of being lazy, knowing perfectly well that I'm kenneling the energy I might need for... well... something.

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FAMOUS BULLDOGS: Ellen DeGeneres, Whoopi Goldberg, Jack Black, George W. Bush

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LIKELY PROFESSIONS: Comedian, Firefighter, Racecar Driver, Bartender

Today is:

• Pedigree - Celebrate Your Dog day, and
• National Coming Out Day

That explains a lot. Solomon went to the Vet today and had to have his anal-glands expressed. He's feeling so much better. *here's to you little buddy - ya freak*

Gay Fat Fury

Read: Open Letter by Earth2Karen

I wrote the letter below to the folks listed and if you agree you might consider writing to share in your support.

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General Manager fwood@amfamfit.com

General Manager jlakey@amfamfit.com

General Manager dmayton@amfamfit.com

General Manager destes@amfamfit.com

General Manager sreed@amfamfit.com

General Manager svaden@amfamfit.com

General Manager tbrightwell@amfamfit.com

Events cbrown@amfamfit.com

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Kelly would have you know that Gold's Gym does provide discount packages for any people that reside at the same address and can provide a valid license that documents the address. Here's my letter if you want to see more of how I think:

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Dear Ms. Wood,

It is my understanding that you have received an email from an acquaintance of mine. I just finished reading her open letter to you, shared on her blog. As you can imagine she suggested that interested parties write to you as well. I write for two reasons:

1. I support Karen in her efforts for your company to amend their current practice of discrimination of the GLBT community with regard to special rate packages for couples and families, and
2. As a current consumer seeking a health and fitness center for myself, I was strongly considering AMF as a choice for me since there is a location nearby by home on the Northside of Richmond.

To my knowledge, her email was only directed to yourself. I have included the other General Managers as part of my email to bring this issue to their attention. Thoughtful consideration of this matter can only be accomplished when all are involved. I have also included Ms. Brown, as I would think she might appreciate the impact that the GLBT community has on regional sponsorships, community relations, and events.

Please draw your attention to your FAQ section your web-site, it states:

How much is membership?
American Family Fitness offers several different memberships including special rate packages for couples(1), families(2), seniors, students, and police. We also have special corporate packages. Please contact your local club for an appointment to discover all applicable membership rates.

• (1) is a membership available to a legally married couple as defined by Virginia law or a parent and a child or stepchild.
• (2) is a membership available to 3 or more people consisting of at least 1 parent, children, or stepchildren, who regularly reside in the same household, but excluding children 21 years of age or older, unless they are full-time students and reside in the same household.

While it is fully legal for you to discriminate based on Virginia law; I challenge you to think outside the box and consider becoming innovators and initiators in your field. I ask you to consider publicly displaying heart in your business ethics. What dumbfounds me is that Karen is now a legally married woman in a committed relationship for a number of years. Many employers locally provide "domestic partner" benefits and require little to qualify for those benefits. Karen has a marriage certificate! Not just a year of bills to show a couple resides together.

It seems to me that your end goal is human health (also ironic given Karen's profession); and that should be your focus. But your company practice is to turn folks away that want to give you money, to benefit in the glory of your goal. I am not "fit as I want to be"; and sadly my perception of your company is that you are "not as fit as you could be."

I'm still considering AMF since it is so close to me. But as a gay male, I seek out businesses that appreciate me and my money.

Your turn and thank you for your time and attention.

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Readers, please consider writing your own letter in support.

The Silver Fox

In this corner - Kelly !!

The Silver Fox

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He needs your votes on Gay.com to win the contest for the Silver Fox category.

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No log-in is necessary, but you are going to a Gay friendly website.

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Vote as often as you like and frequently.

Nutcase

Last Friday, my final act of the day was to listen to a raving lunatic scream at me on the phone. He was screaming so loudly that I could not understand a word he was saying. I wanted to help him. Really I did. It was so bad that my supervisor had to get on the phone to "try" to "help." The experience was no better for her. This lasted an hour and a half, with the occasional lull in conversation so he could catch his breath. He did not want either of us to speak. It ended with the need for a follow-up call this morning.

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Lord help me, I did not want to make that call. I think we woke him up calling him at the hour he requested. He was calm at first then lunged into his tirade. An hour later we had all his issues down pat and we began working on his issues. Which were not really issues that were terribly bad. He just wanted to vent. The minor details were easily navigated. I had to write a letter and my boss and her boss had to call the man back. I was relieved that I did not have to be on that call. I actually had a headache from that experience.

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For the most part, I spent the better part of the day working to manage that one situation of relative nothing. To appease a freaking lunatic.

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Where's your optimism now Thomas. Well it's inside my heart-felt letter of apology on it's way to that clown by way of FedEx. What a joke.

PessiOptimism

A lot of folks would describe me as a pessimist, or cynical, even warped. Warped - definitely, Cynical - maybe, but not pessimistic. I tend to plan and be prepared for the worst to happen and have a positive outlook on things. So while I may state the negative, I try to find the better spin on things that I actually focus on. I like to think that I'm pessi-optimistically inclined.

• Financial Crisis: bad, bad thing. But there's not much I can do about it to make it better. So I'll roll with the punches and manage my life accordingly.
• Financial Bail Out: bad, bad thing. There is no way I support that decision. I prefer the ill-run institutions fail miserably and let it all work out. But since I have no control over the decision, I'll roll with the punches and manage my life accordingly. I did send my congressman a letter to advise that I did not support the bailout. See what good that did. My employer preferred I send a supportive email, but I get to vote my conscience, my way.
• I planted a Lilac bush in April and it was doing wonderfully. Until a family of ants decided it liked the taste of the root system. So I'll plant another next Spring, and educate myself on how to get the critters to move onto that Japanese crap tree that's in my back yard. Or, I'll gleefully have it cut down next year.
• I'm registered to vote because I want my voice heard. Which it is, in local elections. But if you think your voice is truly heard on the national level, you're delusional. I'll still vote, for President, but I know my vote won't matter. Nor will yours. Unless you have representatives that vote the "will of the people" and that's not going to happen. And since some people think you can't complain about who's in office unless you vote - I'm voting.
• Lately I've been going in to work feeling like I'm just shooting myself in the foot trying to get anything done with all the past complainers calling in whining about the economy. So I'm not going to answer my phone on Monday and hunker down on the folks that really need my help. I'm not a counseling hot-line. But the good in me will eventually call them, to make them feel better.
• I used to be one of those kids that wanted their parents to divorce. I really thought it would be better for both of them. Now that I'm older I see that they have stuck together, and have grown to depend on each other. An exercise in pessimism that with my father's optimism proved right.
• I have a group of friends that make some really wacky decisions. The pessimist in plays devil's advocate with them as they bounce off ideas. Though for the most part I know they have made up their mind when they discuss the issues with me. I love them and their individual freakish quirks. And they hate/love mine. Otherwise they wouldn't be friends.

Any obstacle in life is just a fun opportunity to put your unique spin on it. Enjoy.

Rock em, Sock em

I am not often on the fence about issues:

1. If a friend needs assistance I will do what I can to be of assistance. Like watching my friends dogs or helping a friend move. Yes, of course I will be there for you.
2. If you're a pushy and demanding regulatory agent that uses your position to get your way, I will not help you win your battle. I believe contracts are contracts are contracts. So to you Ms. Bitch out there on the west coast, I still say NO. You may have won your battle by pissing and moaning about me to my superiors, but I am confident by your actions that YOU are a biased piece of shit motivated by your own personal convictions an not by fairness.
3. If you take the position of the urinal next to me, and rip one mother of a fart; I'm going to laugh and make some sort of remark. Don't get ticky with me because you couldn't have been a tad bit more civil about it. I get that it's a bathroom, but your effort to break the sound barrier at Mack 5 was a bit overkill. and yes, it was funny.
4. I am very selfishly giddy and gayly happy that a co-worker has taken a new job and moved the hell on. Now maybe I can try to like her... or not.
5. My job is hell right now. The financial world has gone just a tad bit stupid and along with it all the people we service appear to be fearful. Granted I understand, but folks you really need to chill and just let the machine work. The bailout is a bad idea. Let the sharks fight it out. Let the economy suffer a little bit. Maybe it will knock some sense into everyone. You're not supposed to coddle a whiney baby ALL the time. You're not supposed to let your kids off the hook when they've been bad. Spank the crap out of them and let them pay the price. Tighten your belt a bit, suck it up, grow a pair.
6. oh and one more fencing issue: Nobama!!!

I let you off lite. I was also going to rant again about St. Mary's Hospital. But I'm still waiting to see if they respond to my "very enlightening and educational" and blaming letter.