Death of a Semi-Hero

June 16, 2008

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8:30 a.m.

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My Grandfather died

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Earl Parker Duell was not a perfect person. He lived his life wide open with all his faults for the world to see. He raised eyebrows with his gruffness. He angered a few people along the way. He spoke his mind, and did not much care about offending. He was a genius when it came to interpersonal dialogue, decision making, family dynamics, finance and economics, car buying, someone else's cooking, the best shows on television, short changing a sucker, politics, local news, horse racing, beating the law, and morals. He also knew how to point a mean finger.

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He evoked discomfort in family members or was it just that he demanded attention and respect. You listened to him whether you wanted to or not. To visit him was a challenge if you held any sort of opinion, because it was often wrong. Arguing with Earl was an elusive exercise, since he had already won before you entered the door. His house, his rules. Well it wasn't limited to his house, so long as you knew that in advance. As you can imagine, he was difficult. And many of my family had a hard time dealing with and understanding him.

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My father likes to say that I got all the worst qualities of both sides of the family. I'll have to defer to his wisdom, because he happens to be right. Lucky me, I have a lot of my grandfather in me. This is my mother's father and the last of my grandparents to 'go home.' I like to think I'm the lucky one in the family. I understood my grandfather. That does not mean I always liked the man - 'cause he was difficult. But I was never afraid of him. Unlike most of my family, I was able to speak my mind right back to him. I think he secretly enjoyed it. I know my grandmother did, because she would sit in her chair in the corner and just giggle at me. Once she passed away (several years back), gramps started his downward spiral. He wanted to go quick, but something in him (his pacemaker) kept him ticking. This morning, one last dose of painkiller was all it took... and he peacefully slipped away. He would say "dead, is dead." I pray for him that he is wrong and I ask that you do the same for me.

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I'm holding up fine right now, but not for much longer. I will miss him terribly. I loved our arguments and our sharing of experiences. I will miss shaking his hand hello and kissing his forehead good-bye. He was my Grandfather and my Friend. I love ya gramps. You can watch over me now! (yep, I lost it)