The parking lot this morning felt like a car-cemetery. A foreboding and uncomfortable chill set-in under my skin. But I was fine. Until I realized that where I sit is in direct view of the office being used to counsel people - OUT. Was I to be called into that room. Rumors of layoffs on other floors kept coming at me while I watched one-by-one, members of my own area called in and let go. Holy cow, I never imagined I could feel the way I did. Time seemed to stop and I could not help but tear up as both men and women exited with tears. On other floors, entire groups were layed off. The reality set in, my team, IS going to get cut. We are not as important as I want to think we are. Remember, I'm the Optimistic Pessimist. I think positively but plan for things to go wrong. Oh crap, I did not plan well for this... and my optimism flew right out the window, several floors up. That is when this set in:
and we waited
Our team was finally called in and we were given the news. We had been spared being layed off. We all let out a big sigh of relief. Then, the talk of survivor-guilt set in. Not long after that, I received a message that my former manager had been let go. I'm such a wuss, I just cried. What it boils down to, is that I have really grown accustomed to many of these people that I spend a majority of my life with. You can't help but care about them. While I am relieved I still have my job; I worry for the others. Pessimism sucks, but that is where my mind is for these people given the current economy.
I'll wallow for a moment and will drink till I'm silly Friday night with work-friends-family. Then I need to dig deep for my MMGL to come out. Because "Can't Never Could Do Nothing!" I'm going to help where I can.
Damn, where's my power-ring? Oh wait, there it is!!!