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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Short People


Short people got no reason, to live

They got little hands and little eyes
And they walk around tellin' great big lies
They got little noses and tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people, round here

Short people are just the same, as you and i
(A fool such as i)
All men are brothers, until the day they die
(It's a wonderful world)

(refrain), to love

They got little baby legs and they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up just to say hello
They got little cars that go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers and dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people, 'round here

Author, Randy Newman



Nope, my mind ain't right. This is the song that was flooding my mind today and I couldn't remember the lyrics. So there you are. But of course there's a reason behind why the song was drumming through my head. I had just gotten to work this morning, pulling into the parking lot and driving up the ramp. How was I to know that 'she' was going to pop out from the side of her car into traffic. I try to be careful, really I do. I often worry about an accident happening. And to think, this morning was my turn. Well thankfully she was a nimble creature, all of about 4'11". I swear I've never seen her before and she must work in another building. I did not hit her. I rolled down my window (gentleman that I am) to see if she was alright. She totally agreed that she wasn't paying attention. My throat released my heart and let it go back to it's normal position in my body and I drove off. But I got to thinking - if she had not been so short, I might have seen her (better) through the windows and she might not have possibly died. And there you have it - Short People.

And then, don't ya know, my warped mind got to thinking about black people at night wearing dark clothing. Certainly they realize it's difficult to see them. And all the gays, sashaying and swerving their hips as they walk; makes ya dizzie when you're driving and harder to hit 'em. Think of all the points I'm missing out on. Pardon me, there's a mother with a stroller, brb...

2 comments:

Jadielady said...

On behalf of short people everywhere.
n|m


grundes. what short people call a grudge against a grande (tall) person.

JJ said...

A gentleman would have gotten out of his car.... JK


mensic- the strange belief in men's eyes that fart jokes are funny.