Time Slows Down

Time

Slows

Down

When

Approaching

A

Black

Hole

Time also slows down on Friday evenings when you consume wine and know that you're a lightweight because of your medications. Time approaches zero when you spend that time with the parents of a precocious 2 1/2 year old who's table manners are decent to a point. The point of which "snack" aka dessert trumps any dinner. Time stops when that same child walks her mommy into a winner's "okay" through thoughtful youngster discourse and "reason". Time suddenly speeds up as the daddy decides to butt-in and parent. Damn I was having fun.

Time also slows down when you have no plans on a lazy Saturday. It slightly speeds up when you approach the asymptote of homemade rye bread, the creation of Indigo-Orion. And it again slows down when you enjoy the yum of it on a lazy Saturday.

Time speeds up to the shocking bark of a German Shepard to the loud "CLANK-THUD" of the Sunday newspaper on the screen door. Time slows down to the enjoyable stench of newspaper print and unbearable stories of world and local events. Time comes to a near halt when you clip coupons for yourself, friends and co-workers. You know them so well that you reminisce of your friends and their budgeting needs. Time speeds up for laundry and slows for the wait of the cycle. Time slows during the wait with a cat-like stretch that falls into dream catatonia. The repositioned yellow globe shifts within eye shot and time speeds up. Allowing you to tend to the laundry and other domestics. But time slows down as evening approaches and Claudia is fired over Melissa Rivers. And slumber approaches.

Time is ugliest on Monday mornings, with its rushing alarm and bladder urgent pup that simultaneously demand attention. Out of control, time moves faster and faster and faster and you seem to blink and the digitized numbers blurr past you, exponentially chastising you to beat the clock to work. Time **SLAMS** to a screeching halt as you power-on your laptop at work. You have arrived - The work hole - darkest matter in the universe. You're only hope is exercising the patience of Job and reaching out for ... my earbuds and blasting some Anastacia. ...aaaahh!