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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Moody Mr. Grumpy Pants

The photo was a google picture find when I was searching for a "moody" shot. I ran across this photo that made me giggle. It's a drawing by Tom Moody and from what I see of the limited art I've found, he draws images in unsual positions. You won't often find me with my nose up someone's ass, so don't be thinking that I relate to this picture folks. It just tickled me.
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This past Thursday was a wonderful day. I was all by my lonesome. The chatter-box no longer works behind me. The bitch was gone for a day to do something mundane with her family. The boss was out (I rather like her though). Her boss was never in her office. Her administrative assistant was never at her desk and the lady that works behind her was absent half the day. The woman to seats behind her was out. And one other lady was also on vacation. She'll return to a huge surprise when she returns to having a teammate that is simple annoying, having been assigned to the cube behind her. So you get the theme. It was quiet because all the she's were gone and it was just us testosterone heavy he-men at work. Diligently doing what we do... peacefully. Thursday I was able to accomplish so much work it was AWESOME!!!
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Friday, the bitch was back. I was constipated and was creating enough greenhouse gases to justify global warming. I had a dinner date with an estrogen pack from work that I do actually care for and value. All of us were in attendance but it was a bit shaky for me. Any given Friday at 5pm is not a time to still be at work in the job I do. Why the hell people wait until that time of the day and week to call and complain about a problem that must be fixed by 5:01pm is beyond me. Everyone with a brain high-tailed it right at 5:00pm. Don't think a problem is going to be fixed folks. But sure as hell pass it on to me because it's so urgent and I'm the only one available and you're to lazy to "think" for yourself. I was late to the gathering, along with the Queen. She and I went together. She left her Dr. Pepper in my car if she or her husband are reading this post. Beer and gassy constipation don't mix. Add to that a dash of pissed-off and I was mister sinister. I tried to socialize the best I could but I was brain tired too-boot and we were sitting at a table that was abut the most redneck crowd you might find from Crewe, Virginia or any city in West Virginia. One lady was picking her teeth with a sugar pack, another was taking her false teeth out and grinning at people and there were more men there with hair longer than Crystal Gayle's. There was also the special lady that mimicked a mouth and tongue gesture that eluded to her cunnilingus abilities. Though she admitted afterward she was as agile at it as the man next to her. He had to be every bit of 75 years and FUGLY. The thought of either of them performing in that manner should give pause to all women to run from the hills.
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Saturday I was a whore for sleep. I couldn't get enough. Until I got a call from a friend that was in town and wanted to meet up. We went to the TGI-Friday's (twice in one week to a restaurant I had never been to before) and drank ourselves silly. (don't tell my doctor cause he's already peeved that my sugar levels are off once again. That's another blog post but I'll wait until after my endocrinology appointment on Monday and the results to get into that).
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I friggin' broke a nail last night too. WHINE! To let you know how really traumatic that is you need to understand that ALL my life I have been a nail-biter. Nerves, I guess. But last November I started taking Lexapro for my nerves because I was very much wanting to kill the woman that used to work behind me. I could visualize it so clearly and I was happy about it. So I talked to doc about this issue and we went with Lex to help. And help it did. I was so much more mellowed out and thinking clearly. I also noticed that I was no longer a self cannibalist. I've had nails. On occasion I liked letting them get a bit long so I could really drum them. But I was doing it this time so that they'd get long and I could shape them well. Damn it. I go and crack this one nail and fracks up how I shape the others. OMG - It's all that estrogen I've been succumbing to, isn't it. women.
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Solomon is not a fan of me sticking my finger up his ass. I have to do that (with a glove on) to put the medication on his anal gland area that is infected. But he's over it and starts walking away from me when I put on a glove. Smart dog. And damn it again, my doctor told me it was time AGAIN for my prostate exam. I think he secretly likes that job.
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They better hire that replacement for the chatter-box soon. I need some time off.

4 comments:

Jadielady said...

I'm noticing the fact that you're happy there were no bitchy women around you on Thursday, and I was in class all Thursday *ponder*

Suprih and Isti said...

Hai Mr. Thomas

This cartoon is risible, but also slovenly
Is This a caricature image as a satire?

Michael said...

I love your candidness, Thomas! LOL @ the greenhouse gases.

I'm thinking I need to get my hands on some of that Lexapro. And I thought Adderall was the wonder drug.

JOEY said...

Picking their teeth with a sugar pack and removal of false teeth. You would think that you visited my hometown.