Happy Birthday Thomas

Happy Birthday to Me?

Why thank you Ninja Kyle, thank you so much.

43 on the 31st

The Underwear Oracle

My Underwear Says I'm a Typical Guy

When I'm bad, I'm very bad. And when I'm good, I'm still trouble! I'm not afraid to lay around resting my hand in my pants. OMG - how did the Oracle know that?

The Underwear Oracle

Sandwich Cookies

I am Spontaneous and Bold

I view the world with childlike wonder. I am very inquisitive. I can't help but spy, investigate, and ask questions. My life is all about change. Right now, I may be going through some changes I really don't like. I'm sweet and easy to please. I seek out comfort in my life. I seek sensations in my life. I crave excitement and love risks.

The Sandwich Cookie Personality Test

Nobody Loved Me Today

I cannot remember that last time my work-phone did not ring. It rings all day long. Sometimes I just have to "send to voicemail" to get some peace of mind.

Today was unusual. Not one call, not a blip. I kept glancing over at it thinking something was wrong. It was nice not to be needed.

Ironically, a new function of my job is to listen to people's calls through my computer. THAT was in abundance today. And it sucked.

Slice of Life

1. I have a major sweet tooth right now. And one of my favorite candies are the Orange Pectin slices. I'm so glad I don't keep candy in the house (well rarely). Right about now I'd eat a huge bag of those sugary suckers.
   
2. I woke up bright-eyed and ready to start my day at 3:00 a.m. on the dot. Why? I have no earthly idea. But I do know that I forced myself to go right back to sleep since I had another 3 hours of slumber love to work on. AENNNNK !! AENNNK !! AENNNK !! *Tell me that wasn't my alarm clock* Crud, it was my alarm clock - I could have sworn I just shut my eyes. But this time I woke up groggy! Ugh, I hate that.
   
3. Work - aaaahhh, I put together an enormous packet of information for a yet another regulatory agency that thinks they are cute by continually asking for more and more information. This guy is going to think I crap information just for him. He's getting a 10 pound turd of literature to sniff through this time. And I can't possible even fart out another page.
   
4. My daily ritual is bee-bopping home during lunch to let the solomonster out. Chilly, rainy and no snow (poor kelly) but there was plenty of white stuff all over the city. Fog, Fog and more Fog!!! It was so pretty. The fog was up at the tree level and not down on the roads. It was as if the city had a pretty white fluffy pillow resting on top of it. Why would that make people drive 35mph on the highway?
   
5. Left work at 5:15 p.m. which is something I rarely get to do. aaah restful evening and I'm now going to watch the movie "1408".

Jadielady Meme

Jadielady has started a really fun Meme and I TAG you to post it on your blog as well!!

Anytime you leave a comment anywhere, or sign up for anything, and it has one of those nifty word verification boxes, come up with a definition and post it.

For Example:


inmolast - a beauty mark found inside one's butt-cheek.

See how much fun it can be?
Now it's your turn to spread the joy. Tag - You're it!!

Fatso

Wonderful, Just wonderful - There's a Fat gene out there called FATSO, but it's referred to as FTO to be more politically correct (as if!). The best part is that some people have a double helping of this gene allowing them to be 40% more prone to diabetes and 60% more likely to be obese than those without the gene. Up to 16% of the population have the FATSO gene. But 1/2 of you out there have at least one copy of the gene.
And if that weren't bad enough - I heard on the radio this morning that there is a virus called AD-36 (Adenovirus 36). You read that right - A Virus. If you just sneeze on me I can get fat. I'm going sneezer hunting on the jerk that blew all over me when I was 12. There's an ass whoopin' to be had!!!

Frozen is better?

I was reading an Eggland's Best advertisement today. It stated something curious about frozen vegetables.

Often more more nutrition-packed than fresh.

Why is that?
And while that may be, they're stinking hard to bite into.

Grammar Lesson

Unfortunately, many people are unemployed and applying for jobs these days. If by chance you are one of those people. Try to avoid writing to:

Dear Sir or Madman

FRIDAY !!

Oh Jezus, Mormons

Usually, my front lights are not on and that signals *walk on by*. And on the weekends I can sneak a peek at who has come a-knockin'. Tonight - a Wednesday night - of all nights. An unsuspecting evening of quiet was interrupted by my multi-ding dong ring-a-ling of a door bell. Surely it was one of the neighbors dropping off mail that had once again been delivered to the wrong address. Hail no! I was caught in the net of THEM. Two twenty-ish "elders" on missionary assignment in of all cities - Richmond, Virginia came to my door. Thank you jezus, I was so looking forward to this conversation.

It's friggin' cold out and of course I have on my t-shirt and boxers. It's my door, I'll answer how I want to. One of them begins talking a mile-a-minute and I yadda-yadda with him and give him a bit of my story and want to get a move on. But they indicate they are cold. So I have to share with them that I'm cold too and my heart bleeds for them but I'm not about to invite two strange men into my house. *Hold back the snickers, cause it does get a bit better*

They want me to come to their church tomorrow night. I tell them no. "No?!" they retort, sort of shocked I would be direct. I said "thou shalt not lie!" and I wasn't about to, because I knew - and they knew, that I was not going to show up to their church. We bantered a bit back and forth and I accepted their *business card* if I wanted, I could check it out on line. If you're interested go to www.mormon.org or call 1-800-443-9911 for your free DVD "Finding Faith in Christ".

I assured them that I was a Christian and that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. Yes - that just prodded them to talk about SIN. I told them that I was a sinner and had plenty to repent for and that would be between me and God. I got the whole, Drinking (guilty), Smoking (guilty) and a list of others. But I thought to myself - that they left ONE THING off that intriguing list of "don'ts".

*Enter Solomonster: he was in the back yard and started barking. Mostly because he knew I had company and wanted to meet these fine men. He wasn't barking because it was COLD out and wanted in.* Thank you Solomonster for barking anyhow.

I told the men that I had to go - but that led to introductions. Odd that they would give their names at the END of the conversation. But that was more because they wanted to stop by tomorrow afternoon. Ummm - I'll be at work dudes.

So - the one doing most of the talking made a weird comment. That his buddy had red hair. That's only a bit odd because he was wearing a hat and you could not tell in the darkness. But he then said, "ever see a red-headed Mormon before?" To which I said "No I haven't, but he sure is cute!"

Well that ended our little gathering of the minds.
I wonder if they'll be back. They're not strangers anymore.

Shake it off

Okay it's time to shake - shake - shake off the sadness of the passing of my buddy. Death sucks and it need not come visit in my circle for some time to come. But as I get older I know it's just an inevitable course that life takes. But he was 43, too young and simply smacks me in the face of "that could be me!"

Today was a Tuesday/Monday. All the work crazies came back to haunt like old friends. It was actually good to hear from them as it kept my mind busy and occupied. I 'rocked' and accomplished a ton of work today. It was a rather quiet day otherwise. Not much mention of the DC shenanigans. No matter who was getting sworn in office, you would not have caught me there in that madness, even if it had been warm.

The Solomonster was playful and I needed that.

I can't wait for trash day. Probably an odd thing to write about, but that's what's on my mind at this moment. I seem to be overrun by trash, which is not usual. One loosely filled garbage bag a week is my norm. But this week I have 2 bags that are just filled and packed and I think I have a third that needs to be started. And trash pick-up is pushed out a day due to the Monday Holiday. Strange.

Be alive everyone and glad to wake up in the morning. You have yet another day to put a smile on the faces of others, or really piss someone off. Either is fine by me, but just do it, damn it!!!

Tiger

Tiger

I missed your football games.
You know why.
I helped you with math.
You know why.
We teased the girls.
You know why.
We broke a fire code.
You know why.
You wrote my book reports.
You know why.
You came to my concerts.
You know why.
You're my best friend from high school.
You know why.
We drifted apart.
You know why.
We've not seen each other since.
You know why.
I care and think fondly of you.
You know why.
Now it's too late.
To say good-bye.

I love you and I miss you.
Tell God I said hello.

Jiminy Cricket !!

Jiminy Cricket was Pinocchio's conscience. And today I needed to call upon his charm so that I didn't lose my cool. I most definitely held back a "jesus christ" and a few other unpleasantries that would not have gone over well. My time this week could have been better spent on issues that would be completed by now. But no, I had to focus my attention on research for a state agency far to the south of Virginia. The person I am dealing with there has sufficiently pissed me right the fuck off. I have had to bend over backwards this week to get that "person" all the research they have demanded. I even consulted with the "internal" person I take my work to for final review to make sure of what had to be completed. I spent Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday and Today pulling, prodding, copying, editing, and pushing to get this done. Not just a few hours - almost the entire week. My research is all together and I send it out for review. The response I get is "you didn't need to do all this." What the hell? I asked you at the start to confirm what I needed to do, and you come back to me with that shit? Oh I was so fuming mad. I left the work on his desk and calmly requested him to whittle it down to what needed to be sent, and walked away. So now he gets to finger through a ream and a half of bullshit, cause I'm not doing it anymore. And you can fucking edit my correspondence down too, while your at it!

Gossamer

Please speak clearly and stop mumbling.

Or I shall "What" you to death!!

Ah Ah Ah - The Numbah 5 meme

For Jadielady
The Number 5

5 things in my bag/wallet: Other than the obvious
Expired Costco Membership Card
Expired Car Insurance Card
Expired Flexible Spending Account Debit Card
Indigo-Orion’s Home Phone Number
$32.00

5 things in my room
Me – Thomas
Solomonster – The Dog
Bill, Bills, and more Bills
A Santa Winnie the Pooh
Formula 409

5 things I have always wanted to do
Interfere with the dreams of others
Kidnap a few space aliens
Skydive
Get a motorcycle
Give a Police Officer a ticket for not using directional signals

5 things I am currently into
Balancing my finances – never-ending
Stretching exercises
Eleventh Hour – TV show
Work
Uninterrupted Sleep

Oopsy!

Oh today started out just peachy keen. I think Captain Obvious will appreciate this post. And I know NobamaGirl will love this post. If your even a tad bit squeamish about the bathroom, just skip this post.

I was constipated all weekend. Not too common for me as I tend to be fairly regular. But I just locked up and couldn't get to doing what desperately needed dooing.

So, Sunday I ran out and purchased some over the counter assistance in the form of Senekot. The slow acting marvel that it is. Well, this morning was hopeful but still no relief. Being pee-shy is bad enough, but the other activity is simply a gotta-doo-it-at-home activity. At 9:30 a.m. I had no choice. So I high-tailed it to the restroom and thank god nobody was around. "Peace"

Assume you know what I did and also assume you don't want to know the volume.

Afterward, when I was safely at my cube working on work, I heard someone mention that the the water had just been turned off on all the floors on the upper level of our building. It seems there were bathroom pipes that had burst. Oopsy Bear time.

The bathrooms were shut down all day. The water had been turned off. It would take after work hours to repair the damage. I had a Steve Urkel moment: "Did I do thaaaaaat?"

Monty Python Trivia

I scored 85% on the Monty Python Trivia Test.

Sir Lancelot

Obviously the Brad Pitt of the knights. He was the brave, good looking, smart knight. He wasn't king, mind you. But he was the closest to it given the bunch. I know my stuff. But I should watch the Meaning of Life a little closer and throw in some Life of Brian and I may be King in no time!

My Mind

My last post seems to have struck a chord or a nerve with a number of folks. One person stated their thoughts on the blog, but others chose to email me. It appears that you are having difficulty with my additional comments. So without getting into a lot of philosophy I'll try to clarify a bit:




To the following, I said:

I responded "sort of" to; I see life as precious, and I wish everyone was safe, happy, and taken care of. I do see life as precious. I want people to be safe and happy. But I want that to be at their expense and effort. I want them to be taken care of by their loved one's and friends. Not by me. If you are my loved one and friend, I will help you. If I don't know you, you're on your own.

I responded "umm, not really" to; Social justice, human rights, and peace for all nations are all important to me. I tend to believe that we are striving for an impossible utopia at the expense of common sense. I do not believe in Social Justice. I DO believe in human rights. I do not believe at all in "peace for all nations"; that is an impossible agenda to presume with our current global hatreds and differences. And, Peace for individual nations needs to begin in their own homelands at their own people's expense. But, if our government deems it necessary to involve our Country int he dealings of another country; then we are obligated to see it through to the end.

I responded "or as much as I want to be" to; While I can't stop war, I try to be as calm and compassionate as possible in my everyday life. I don't get all hysterical about war. I have no control over what our government decides to do. I can write letters to our representatives and the like, which I do, but I don't believe they carry much weight to sway the decisions of the political elite. I focus my energies on smaller more manageable issues that I can have an impact upon.

And, I responded "oh, that largely depends on the "something" now doesn't it?" to; I promote harmony and cooperation. I'm always willing to meet someone a little more than halfway. It really does depend on the topic. I can be quite agreeable on certain topics, and stubbornly obstinate on other issues. Can't we all? We don't grow and develop if we are continuously passive.

So, if any of you want to write a book with me, be prepared to argue a bit. Otherwise, it will be one boring book. And if you plan to sleep with me, I'll demand my share of the covers, if the covers ever get used.

What's your Word

Your Word is "Peace"

I see life as precious, and I wish everyone was safe, happy, and taken care of. (sort of) Social justice, human rights, and peace for all nations are all important to me. (umm, not really) While I can't stop war, I try to be as calm and compassionate as possible in my everyday life. (or as much as I want to be) I promote harmony and cooperation. I'm always willing to meet someone a little more than halfway. (oh, that largely depends on the "something" now doesn't it?)

What's Your Word?

Zoinks!

Last night, I was a bit punchy about the first round of layoffs that had occurred. Many good, hard-working people were sent packing. Everyone knew it was coming. It's not a reality until you see your friends -- gone. I was a bit miffed and succumbed to the possible that I might be going as well and challenged the man to bring it on. I was having a Scrappy-Doo moment and I should have known better, because I can't stand that character pup.

The parking lot this morning felt like a car-cemetery. A foreboding and uncomfortable chill set-in under my skin. But I was fine. Until I realized that where I sit is in direct view of the office being used to counsel people - OUT. Was I to be called into that room. Rumors of layoffs on other floors kept coming at me while I watched one-by-one, members of my own area called in and let go. Holy cow, I never imagined I could feel the way I did. Time seemed to stop and I could not help but tear up as both men and women exited with tears. On other floors, entire groups were layed off. The reality set in, my team, IS going to get cut. We are not as important as I want to think we are. Remember, I'm the Optimistic Pessimist. I think positively but plan for things to go wrong. Oh crap, I did not plan well for this... and my optimism flew right out the window, several floors up. That is when this set in:

and we waited
and waited,
and waited

Our team was finally called in and we were given the news. We had been spared being layed off. We all let out a big sigh of relief. Then, the talk of survivor-guilt set in. Not long after that, I received a message that my former manager had been let go. I'm such a wuss, I just cried. What it boils down to, is that I have really grown accustomed to many of these people that I spend a majority of my life with. You can't help but care about them. While I am relieved I still have my job; I worry for the others. Pessimism sucks, but that is where my mind is for these people given the current economy.

I'll wallow for a moment and will drink till I'm silly Friday night with work-friends-family. Then I need to dig deep for my MMGL to come out. Because "Can't Never Could Do Nothing!" I'm going to help where I can.

Damn, where's my power-ring? Oh wait, there it is!!!

Sadness

Today was the first of two very sad days. Layoffs began, and we lost some very good people that I call friend and have felt like they really are my work-family. One very important loss to me is someone that I trained. I believe she may have been the very first person that I trained for this company. And she truly excelled at her jobs. A wonderful person. A solid ray of sunshine on gloomy days and a fresh blast of cool air on a hot summer day. Completely competent, though slightly flawed in her politics. I'm at a loss to understand, why her? As soon as she told me, a tear came to my eye. Then another...

Indigo-Orion - I am so very sorry that you were layed off and I wish I had the power to change that for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm here when you need me.

Bring it on, round 2

She is Bossy

Vote: Best Humor Blog

You can vote once a day until 01/13/2009

Suspense

Tales of Suspense #49 - The New Iron Man Meets the Angel!

I could have posted about a lot of things today but I wasn't really sure what. So I let some Internet surfing guide me. I ran across this cover and I figured it was in part an image of how I feel. Iron Man can beat Angel any day. But here, it looks like The X-Men's Angel is winning. The Invincible Iron Man is in a free fall. A lot of folks at work are on pins and needles this week; many of them feeling vulnerable like Iron Man. We are due for a 1000 count layoff by the end of the week. Everyone keeps asking me what I think will happen, who's going to get cut, when do I think Thor's hammer will fall. As if I'm some Madame Web of the company. It just ain't so. I hear all the gossip that everyone else hears. And some of it I do keep to myself if it's a bit askew of the trend.

I'm wishing everyone powered-up layoff repulsor rays. And if not that, then I pray you have an Angel in the air to catch you.

My Wrestling Song

I know I've told you before that I have very strange conversations with folks at work when I'm on my smoke break. Normally those are with women. This one was with one of my male buddies that I work fairly close to.

He asked, if I were to be a professional wrestler, what would my Entrance Theme Song be? The question was so unexpected that I just did not have an answer. He said that his would be some death metal song that I can't remember now. I've given the topic some thought. I figure, if I were ever in the position for that to actually happen that I might as well make my grand entrance by way of:

"I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross

Your Turn. What would your entrance song be?
*and be sure to look at the picture carefully*

Personality Disorder

I May Be a Bit Borderline.
*and I probably am*

My mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!

When I'm up, I'm a little bit crazy.

And when I'm down, my whole world is crashing

Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!
*but I'm not manic*

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Worthless

Like a penny, I was just about good for nothing today.

And like McDonald's, I'm lovin' it.