- While sitting on the ‘john,’ does your ‘thang’ occasionally go for a slight dunk or swim?
- Is the toilet paper roll hanging with the open end to the outside or inside of the wall?
- When releasing said #1, do you grace the throne by standing before it or sitting upon it?
- Is your TP single-ply or cushy two-ply?
- This may be TOO MUCH INFO but I just have to ask - one swipe to call it ‘finito’ or multiple?
- Do you dwell on the ‘john’ reading the newspaper/magazine or make a quick exit?
- Does that moment in the ‘john’ bring a degree of clarity?
So of course it begged to be answered:
- Not in the morning.
- Outside, because it's easier to avoid the hanging-chads. If I'm OCD about anything, it's those.
- The supreme commander of the universe sits at his throne.
- I'm a 2-ply guy. There's too much danger in using single. But I avoid too much cushiness because that stuff tends to leave behind renters.
- Very rarely have I been visited by the ghostie-poos. Multiple is reassuring.
- Depends on the urgency, but normally I've got some goofy material to read.
- It's better than a snickers candy bar.
And, you may be wondering if my posts are going to have a central theme of the nether-region. Because, recently I posted about *poofs.* While I hope not, I will tell you that I did succeed in my Bean mission thanks to friend Wayne's Chili. Day One - no problem. Day Two - Man I was giggling all day long. And oddly enough I didn't even need scented hand lotion.