Bathroom confessional

While poking around on the blogs of other folks, I found this quirky questionaire courtesy of Life's Colorful Brushstrokes:

• While sitting on the ‘john,’ does your ‘thang’ occasionally go for a slight dunk or swim?
• Is the toilet paper roll hanging with the open end to the outside or inside of the wall?
• When releasing said #1, do you grace the throne by standing before it or sitting upon it?
• Is your TP single-ply or cushy two-ply?
• This may be TOO MUCH INFO but I just have to ask - one swipe to call it ‘finito’ or multiple?
• Do you dwell on the ‘john’ reading the newspaper/magazine or make a quick exit?
• Does that moment in the ‘john’ bring a degree of clarity?

So of course it begged to be answered:

1. Not in the morning.
2. Outside, because it's easier to avoid the hanging-chads. If I'm OCD about anything, it's those.
3. The supreme commander of the universe sits at his throne.
4. I'm a 2-ply guy. There's too much danger in using single. But I avoid too much cushiness because that stuff tends to leave behind renters.
5. Very rarely have I been visited by the ghostie-poos. Multiple is reassuring.
6. Depends on the urgency, but normally I've got some goofy material to read.
7. It's better than a snickers candy bar.

And, you may be wondering if my posts are going to have a central theme of the nether-region. Because, recently I posted about *poofs.* While I hope not, I will tell you that I did succeed in my Bean mission thanks to friend Wayne's Chili. Day One - no problem. Day Two - Man I was giggling all day long. And oddly enough I didn't even need scented hand lotion.