Secure Yourself

Secure yourself to Heaven

Hold on tight, the night has come

Fasten up your earthly burdens

You have just begun

♀♀♀

♀ Indigo Girls in Concert ♀

♀♀♀

Saturday May 31 - 8:00 pm, The National - Richmond VA

♀♀♀

I'm there with my friend JJ

If you're interested in going, tickets are available.

Join us and get "Closer to Fine."

Carnage

The Resident Evil Within Me

I finally got tired of feeling run down. I've been sick since early April with only a few good days. And my friend Lisa, a nurse, ordered me to call my doctor.

***

I called for an appointment and saw him today at 12:15pm. I was there until 2:00pm getting the full doctor work over. *wish that were the case* But, in the end, I'm still a very sick person. Wow, that was two double entendre's there, did you catch them?

***

After work, I was sent to a local hospital for further testing. The end result is that the demon inside me is pneumonia. The functional kind, referred to as walking pneumonia. Fun stuff, but I'm also a bit more advanced in the sickness and have been given some serious drugs to kill it. Here's to me getting healthier and not being such a "dude" about going to the doctor.

Where's my bed?

What was that Mr. Pillow?

1. You say, I shouldn't have listened to the alarm?
2. I should have left earlier to avoid Nascar Richmond?
3. You think I should have chosen the pancakes?
4. My first phone call should have gone to voicemail?
5. The other pair of boxers might have been more comfortable?
6. Requesting assistance should involve some forethought?
7. The Spyro Gyra CD wasn't going to cut the mustard?
8. You knew it was a lawyer heavy day, and didn't want to tell me?
9. You knew people wouldn't want to think for themselves?
10. And you were aware red lights were going to thwart my path all day?

Well, I'll tell you something Mr. Pillow; I made the best of my day. I drove faster than everyone this morning and I enjoyed my eggs. I didn't let Mr. what's-his-name get to me for the umpteenth time because he's suffering from dementia. The boxers I did wear are my lucky one's and I think they got me through some "tight" moments. One person in particular helped me understand something that no one has ever been able to explain to me. Spyro Gyra was a bit off, cause I was really wanting to listen to Ricky Martin. The lawyers shot me their best questions and I answered; if they didn't like my answer I just shrugged my shoulders. I thought for most everyone else today and I gave each red light the middle finger and laughed. I also had a killer hamburger for dinner, so THERE!!

GEN H-4

It's a single occupant Helicopter
***

Click on the "helicopter" and you can learn more about it. I think it appealed to me because I saw Iron Man yesterday. And well, it appeals to the little boy in me that wants to fly. I would totally love to have one of these bad-boys. I was watching the news this morning and they were showing this creation. It was sort of like listening to a song on the way to work and you end up whistling it all day. Except I can't whistle a helicopter, so I just kept thinking about it in my brain. I was stuck on the "thwop-thwop-thwop" of the blades. During lunch, I came home to walk my dog and overhead was a BIG-boy helicopter swooping by my neighborhood. And well, again, I got to thinking about the teeny helicopter. So I knew I had to blog about it tonight/now.

***
Problem: Estimated cost is $58,000.00 U.S. Dollars
*sigh* ...It was just a dream, anyhow.

Iron Man

I'm not a movie critic - Just go see Iron Man!

***

I had my doubts when Robert Downey, Jr. was cast for the role. He just didn't come off as "hero" material to me. Nice to look at maybe, but no hero. But, I got to thinking that he probably was a decent choice because of his high profile bad-boy image. His acting in the movie is fluid. Gwyneth Paltrow's acting is commandingly comfortable; not meek as I had imagined. Not too much the fan of Terrence Howard, I actually did like him and found him believable. Now, Jeff Bridges, well he always comes across as Star Man to me in whatever he plays. That lower lip quivering thing he does is annoyingly distracting. Stan Lee's cameo was hilarious and caught me off guard.
-

The movie kept me interested at all times. While I did see right through one effort of the movie, I still kept looking for flaws or inconsistencies and creative license. The Iron Man suit was wonderfully designed and flows like real body movement. I had thought it was going to look clunky, sort of like how the first Hulk movie appeared to resemble digitized clay-mation. But this movie very much came ALIVE.

-

In reflection - I think I critiqued quite well without giving you any details.

-

Watch through the end of the credits.

Declan - pt. 3

Declan now wished he’d stopped for breakfast. The fast food chicken sandwich and cola were not as tasty as he had hoped. Justine enjoyed the aroma that wisped all around her. She was missing being able to cook, though adored being light as the wind. The closer they came to Lynchburg; however, she began to feel heavy. She was always a worrier, but with good reason. Her visions were clearer than her brother’s. Her foreboding details were vivid and rarely inaccurate. Declan’s ability comes with foggy images and inconsistent echoes of sound. Now, as an apparitional wind, Justine only feels – and now she’s feeling trepidation.
-
They left Lewisburg at 1:30 pm and approached Lynchburg from the North, traveling south on US-29 BR. At 3:30 pm he pulled to the side of the road outside Madison Heights. He hid his ride in a ditch to the left of the road and looked forward. The self-confidence ahead of him demanded caution.
-
*I’ll return swiftly* Justine whispered to her brother. She rose into the sky unseen and headed over the city. She felt it, but could not see it. Passing through the pretense, she felt electrified though weakened. Declan noticed the sparkle of static but was unable to discern its nature. Justine tried to swoop back but was not permitted exit. She was trapped. A feeling she detested more than her own death. The tempest within her was building.
-
The cloak of energy was right before Declan, no more than 15 feet. He approached without the caution it insisted. Stopping directly in front he raised his right hand and wielded the xiphos blade and stabbed into the veil. The blade easily penetrated the barrier, but with the force Declan used, the xiphos fell away as his hand was blocked from entry.
-
*Magic has never denied me safe passage before.* Declan thought to himself. Then it occurred to him that something was skewed. The ground around him was snow. The land on the other side was lush green with weeds and wild-flowers.
-
A car was coming from behind. Declan knelt, not to be seen. As the car passed he watched it traverse the veil easily and vanish.

Gay Childhood Icon

Who is your Gay Childhood Icon?

*

Okay so I took some liberties. I really didn't care for the picture that the program ended up spewing forth. So I google-imaged the picture I liked best. Hee hee - it's totally more gay!

*

Click Here to see what your Icon is.

Funkier Than a Mosquito's Tweeter

The Best

Who do the legs belong to?

The woman that will sing to me Nov. 23, 2008 - 7:00 pm.

I'll even get up on stage to be her Private Dancer.

She better be good to me.

***

Oh heck, those just gave it away. Yeppers, I bought two tickets to see Tina Turner. I'm taking my buddy Wayne with me. The tickets are his Birthday and Christmas present, and anything else I can imagine. There are very few concerts that I would go to over listening to CD's. But apparently this is my year for concerts. Tina will be - by far - the most expensive tickets I purchase. But you can be sure I did not purchase tickets in the $1900.00 section. That would make me Poor Mary.

***

Tra La La La La

Time Off

Any doctor knows that if their patients wait long enough, most of their ailments will go away with just a little bit of time. Well, this junk in my lungs can get a move on already.

-

<--- But, I'm starting to look even more like myself.

-

The heavy-head feeling and the weakness have gone away. I'm just left with the congestion to clear and the drippy sneezy nose to dry up. What? Why write about this? Well it's my blog, that's why.

-

It's now Memorial Day weekend. I am not traveling. I am spending time relaxing with only a few items on my "must do" list. I believe I'll be going to see Iron Man on Monday. That should be the highlight of the 3-days off.

-

I do have an exciting piece of news to report... but I'll keep you hanging until tomorrow. And stop looking at the nipples.

Speechless

As you can see, I am feeling MUCH better. I still have a bit of the yukkies and woke up with a whisper of a voice. That lasted a better part of the day. Some words would pop out, others were just a lot of air. Some words had a high pitched quality to them. It was sort of fun to see if people could understand me.

-

I actually should have stayed home today as well. But after the police patrol was called upon me to make sure I was okay, I figured I tough it up and go in. See - one of the ladies at work is married to a Police Officer. Since two of my team members had not received the word that I was still out sick, they felt it was necessary to make sure that I hadn't died, been murdered, what have you. So she sent her man-officer to check on me. He was nice about it. Dare I say, he came over with a look on his face similar to *I can't believe I'm really doing this, the guy is just sick*. But I will chalk it up to womanly concern in a friendly, gentle, caring and smothering "What the FUCK" way. Oh pardon me, I think I may have shed some light on how I really feel about that situation.

-

Ya know, it's actions like that which make me distrustful. Don't get me wrong. I really want to believe that their better intentions were truly at work. And it is quite possible that it was pure compassion. But I grew up with Mrs. Kravitz, and I feel like I know better.

Feeling a bit Better

Yep - feeling better today.

Maybe not rich-boy George Clooney enjoying a bouncy moment better, but still-in-all, much better than yesterday.

-

Lucky for work, I should be on the return to...

-

That should save a co-worker the trouble of sending her Police Officer husband to my door to check on me.

-

OH YES SHE DID !!!

Sweaty

Indeed!

-

This is what I look like

when I'm sick and drenched in my own sweat.

-

-

Enjoy

Snotty Mess

<-- This is in my head and he brought friends.

Short blog, so I can get some rest. I REFUSE to use more sick time. I actually want to use my time for fun, not stinking recovery. Damn this annoying up and down weather we're having. IT'S MAY!!!

--

--

--

Get a clue Mother Nature and Global Warming.

Story Time - Declan

One more stop before Lynchburg, Virginia. Declan needed the help of a former enemy of small stature, residing in Beckley for quite some time. Only one local family has been aware that a guest has been living nearby. The mayor and his family have sworn themselves to secrecy about the presence. That has proven to be difficult with the renovation of the Beckley Exhibition Coal Mine out on Ewart Avenue.
-
Declan took a less traveled dirt road and the wind picked up. Zephyranthes… “… Go back Declan…” the wind turned and swirled back into his chest. “… Go back Declan…” There was something familiar and nurturing about the gust. It was not cool as it should have been. It was warming and energizing. Declan proceeded toward the bare weeping willow and sat on the snow covered rock. Patience, a calm heart and a firm tug on the willow branch closest the rock chair would beckon the Dvergar. Patience was not a trait that Declan had learned to hone in all his years traveling the world. He pulled out his Birkan Flute he hides away in an outer pocket lining his right sleeve. More often than not he uses the hard bone as protection from harm in fight. This morning, its true purpose would call his friend and former enemy. Raising the flute to his mouth like a recorder, he plays a warbling dissonant sound. It resembled a high pitched sickly bird.
-
Mr. Mayor put down his fork from his left hand and dropped his toast from his right. His partner in life dropped a fresh plate of pancakes, all sticky with butter and Vermont Maple Syrup. They knew the sound and looked each other in the eye, “Declan’s back,” both frowning. The last time they experienced his kind, they had just been married, saying their “I do’s.” But they had reason to worry. Declan brings trouble, or rather, finds it. The mayor’s wife sat down and waited for the inevitable. Declan doesn’t waste time.
-
“…Declan flee…” The wind swirled. And he recognized the voice. *No, it can’t be.* he thought to himself.
-
The willow swayed and announced the arrival of his friend. “Declan, you promised not to return so soon. Why do you call me?”
-
“I need to borrow your Hoplite xiphos and some powdered Rindr.” Declan pleaded. He kneeled and held his arms outstretched, “…please Va…”
-
“YOU - may NOT speak my name!! …your grievance is not with Beckley? This bodes well for you.” She turns, “I will return in a moment.”
-
The swirling wind calms him and whispers “…you are indeed a lucky man…” *I know it’s her, it has to be* “Justine? ...Sister?” a moments pause, “Yes brother.” “This is father’s work?” The wind twirls tormented “No!”
-
Returning from behind Declan, he is startled at her appearance in armor and thinks *enemy* “I’m not here to fight you, old friend!” Declan cowered. “I am here with your requests and offer my assistance Declan.”
-
“No, Va…, …f-friend. I must see to this matter on my own.” Declan accepts the xiphos and Rindr. The powder is in a flat bladder pouch to preserve its potency and fits nicely into the side pockets of his cargo pants. The xiphos is not so easy to hide. “Declan, the xiphos responds to your needs” instantly the xiphos compacts itself to fit connected to the chain on his belt loop. “Thank you. I now owe you and will return the favor some day.” He kneels and turns away. Justine follows quietly without notice.
-
64 East is all wet with slush, but it’s the easiest way toward Lynchburg at the moment. Looking at his map, he figures he can stop for lunch in Lewisburg. Declan is oddly warm, but appreciative not to be cold. Justine is holding tight to her brother as they race into the wind.
-
“You are faithful to that man. Better than he deserves, but he is making up all. He still needs us. He’ll have trouble getting in. He requires more than he’s considered. Come, Hati! – we must hurry and take the short-cut into the city.”
-
The Mayor and his wife are left with no answers and a feeling of dread.

Dentist

June 23, 2008

I knew is was soon and actually was thinking it was coming up on me a bit faster than I realized. My semi-annual dental visit for my teeth cleaning.

-

I didn't have the date, because I didn't write it down. My dentist's office sends a reminder postcard. I received mine in the mail today. I'm so excited too. I love getting my teeth cleaned. I really enjoy going to the dentist. Even when they have to give the Novocaine and start the drilling. My dentist and his hygienist are very relaxing and funny. I especially like it when my dentist puts on his "bug" glasses that help magnify what he is seeing. But it makes him look stupid; making me giggle.

--

I would probably get my teeth cleaned once a month if I really wanted to shell out the cash to get it done. I feel so much cleaner with my bright whites looking brilliant. I just cannot wait to go now. Which means for the next month, I'm going to be that much more annoyed with how my teeth currently feel. I'm a plaque magnet. A tartar whore.

--

Oh crap, I just realized that I've been slacking on my flossing.

Tomato Seedling

My Friend Lee gave cute little baby tomato plant.

I killed it.

--

Does that mean there can now be movie titled...

"Attack of The Tomato Killer Thomas"

*sobs* and mentally takes out my bugle...

--

Be free little tomato plant, be free!!

Jadielady

Happy Birthday Jadielady!!

You're teh Awesome!!

--

Everyone Wish Jadielady a happy happy on her blog today.

Go there now!

Lawn care

Yesterday I mowed my lawn. I was suppose to rain late last night. I didn't see any signs of that happening. It was also supposed to rain today as well. Not a drop until it was passed dark and even then just sprinkles. I love weathermen, they are so predictably inaccurate. Let's pay them more, shall we?

-

I also mowed my neighbors front yard. It was a selfish move. I do it because, if I have an OCD, it's jagged lawns. If I only cut mine, then my neighbors lawn would have looked awkward. I can't have that. I live on a corner lot, so it's more noticeable. He has on occasion mowed my lawn when I was under the weather. So I like to think, they think, I'm being neighborly. I just being... well is selfish the right word here.

-

He thanked me today, which was nice. Throwing in a sideways hunt for a thank you for himself, when he mowed my lawn while I was in NY, and there had been a lot of rain. Ummmm, I did thank you for that Mr. Dude. But okay, I'll play your game *Thank you for that. That was awfully kind of you.* (thinking in my crazy brain - now, would you stop draining your rainwater into my yard?)

Postage

.42 cents for a stamp

The incremental increase of the monotonous stamp drives me crazy. I write letters all the time. Many people are amazed at that fact. It was a slowly learned trait that I got from my father. He despises talking on the phone. A 5 minute phone call is much less important to him than a written or typed 1-page letter. He used to write his parents each week and they did so in return. It was his version of a phone call just took longer and cost less. But it's gotten me to the point that I enjoy writing my weekly letters to my parents. But the increases annoy me. Why can't "they" just consider:

• raising it to .45 cents for four more years. Bank the extra; managed by a frugal financial manager (like that's gonna happen...). Then raise it again .05 cents for another 5 years, invested frugally. Somewhere along the line you would think the USPS would have money in the coffers, or a rainy day fund.
• pricing the stamps at intervals of .05 cents. Isn't that a lot easier?
• keeping the cost of stamps from rising by delivering mail on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Wouldn't that cut down on shipping costs? My father would say, you would not want "them" to stop delivering on certain days. Once you start taking away services it begins to snowball.
• Reducing overhead might not be a bad idea. Richmond, Virginia is the first place I have lived that has so many post offices. It seems like there is a location every 5 miles; even less in certain areas. I just don't get the need for that. Why can't they make fewer locations that are bit larger?
• Do you have any ideas?

I'm a bird! I'm a plane! I'm a choo-choo train!

Murdock from the A-Team cracked and still cracks me up. But his type of craziness had a bit of reality to a crazy world.

-

On any typical day, I don't feel rested, but I did today. Today, my breakfast was "spot-on." People actually said hello back, with the exception of one chilly witch of a midget woman. Two people were out, and I was not bothered by their incessant chatter. The entire day was peaceful. Oh, with the exception of one kind gentleman that simple did not want to listen to reason. He preferred to listen to the incorrect information of an incompetent boob. But that is not my concern. I gave him my wonderfully emphatic "NO" and I moved on. I received some awesome assistance from two amazing minds and one not so bright bulb, that helped me resolve a messy sticky icky situation. I bought the group lottery tickets today having forgotten the money. I actually went home for lunch, went back to work to get the money and go get the tickets and still made it back on time *woot*. Here's to hopefully winning $166 million, but I doubt even this day could be THAT good. The best part - I made it to the vacuum shop at 5:29pm and purchased their very last brush attachment. The little brusher sucker cost $9.95. But, I needs the precious. So today - it seems many of my plans have come together. ...shoot, wish I could keep two chatty people out from work just one more day.

Vacuum Brush

For the past several weeks I have been hunting for a vacuum brush attachment. After visiting countless stores, I was beginning to feel like Elmer Fudd hunting that Wascally Wabbit. THEN - it dawned on me. There's a vacuum shop nearby work. Rats, the parking was full at lunch, nothing to be found. Durn that tiny little shopping outlet. So I was slightly delayed after work, but headed on over to the store. Folks this is a retail shop!!! Why on earth would they close at 5:30pm. That's akin to those horrid banking hours. How can working people get anything accomplished after they leave their jobs. Ugh, so I have to go back tomorrow. I just hate the bother of having to make multiple stops for something so mundane as a vacuum brush. What's really going to suck (pardon the pun) is that I'm absolutely positive that once I have purchased this little sucker helper... I'll find the attachment, that is currently lost in the wide open space that is my HOUSE! ssshhhhhh be vewwwy vewwwy qwuiwet, I'm stiwl huntin'!!

Story Time: Declan

Not able to find his helmet Declan bites into a Percocet and heads down routes 79 and 19. He’s off to a little town with nothing there to speak of other than Esagila Babilu. Esa lives in Mount Nebo. Declan knows how to find him. Mount Nebo is a slight detour off route 19 to the south east, but he knows it will be worth the time spent.
-
A crow greets him at the entrance of a seemingly dense Kudzu forest. He drives on through it as he remembers that it's just leaves and nothing else. He comes upon the small quartz structure Esa calls home. No words are spoken outside. Their history goes back much further than the erection of Esa’s temple. Once inside Declan says, “Yes” to Esa’s unspoken offer of Pu-erh tea. He needs to heal. He places his leg up on a stool. Sipping the tea, Esa takes the boot from the left foot and pulls off the thermal sock.
-
“That’s new,” Esa says, rubbing the brand shaped like an ‘n.’
-
“It was a hard fight to earn that one. I received it quite by accident too in Moosonee, Canada,” Declan said, feeling the pain of Esa’s ankle massage.
-
Esa grabbed Declan’s calf and pinched the arch of his foot. Declan screeched out in agony. “There, that should do the trick. Nothin’ better than lightnin’ up the leg to loosen a sprained ankle.”
-
Both men just sat looking at each other. Esa handed Declan a turkey biscuit and broke the ice first.
-
“That brand will help ya, where you off to. I’ll tell before she does, listen to the wind boy. I know you won’t… but you need to listen to the wind. Your kind can’t help but face your enemies.” Esa said with a grin on his face. “I saw your daddy not but 2 years ago and he told me to tell your sis passed in child-birth. You’re an uncle again and your sis, well – sorry.” “Your pop says they really celebrated at her passing. What with the burning and all. He said she sparkled blue and popped yella!” Esa raised his hand to the ceiling and exhaled.
-
“Git on - if your gonna be in hell tomorrah!” he said with that funny grin on his face. This time, flashing that one tooth on his bottom gum.
-
Declan stood up and stomped on his left leg. “Good as new, thanks.” “Care to join me on this jaunt Esa? It could be fun for you to get out a bit.”
-
“Nah, just come see me in another 15.” Esa handed him a brand new helmet on his way out the door. “Heard you needed one.”
-
Declan put the helmet on over his curly blond hair and road off, back to 19 south.

Mexico Restaurant

The mystery has been solved. Several days ago I posted about guacamole. I did not know why I was having a craving for the green goo. The answer: I was craving Mexican food. In particular, I was wanting my favorite meal at that restaurant. Most of the time I order the same thing there; Arroz con Mariscos, or rice with seafood. Basically is shrimp and scallops on a bed of rice and a side of guacamole dolloped on top of lettuce. I like to sprinkle some habañero sauce over it to give some fire flavor.

-

I called my friend Lee tonight and we went there for dinner. Yes, that is why I was craving the guacamole. My meal was so yummy. I fired it up a notch higher than normal and by the end of my meal I was sweating. That is so much fun... Olé.

Dirtwoman

Dirtwoman for Mayor of Richmond, Virginia

--

His name is Donnie "Dirtwoman" Corker. He is running for Mayor of Richmond, Virginia 2008.

Read this article from Style Weekly, October 10, 2007.

--

I'm not yet ready to make a comment, but the referenced article does say...

-

"He (corker) says he believes voters

will look to the future

and not at his past

when they cast their votes

in November 2008."

-

I can't help but think that he's over estimating the Richmond voters.

Kelly... !!!

Momma's Day

Dahlias

--

Mother's Day is upon us. You can send mom flowers. Or you can send mom flowers that will bloom again. Hunt down blooming bulbs that are attached to the bulb. Just sending the stem sends a dying flower. Sending an intact plant sends a renewing purchase for you and a colorful return for mom.

-

Now that's thoughtful. Isn't she worth the extra effort?

-

Brought to you by my inner Green.

Random Thunks

1. A training class has disrupted my mornings all week. I have been unable to find my groove in the second half of the day.


2. A Robin flew into my house through my back patio sliding glass doors that I left open. It said hello and left. What is it with birds this year?


3. My Firecracker bulbs are coming up already. One plant as a bud on it. I thought these were summer bulbs. Has Al Gore been in my back yard? It's an inconvenient truth that these are growing so early.


4. The arrest I witnessed yesterday was unfortunate. I have no emotion over the issue. To me it was not sad.


5. On Monday I yelled at my neighbor's son for kicking his dog. Last night I did the same. Tonight I saw his mother and told her. Oops! It was the neighbor boy across the street. I apologized to her son. Karma sucks. But the dog is safe.


6. Someone is littering on my lawn. Stop it!! *Kelly, keep your neighbor to yourself!*


7. Daddy sent me the addresses for all my family. I had lost them all by keeping them on ONE disc that went and got itself damaged somehow. Nice, I can send my Christmas Cards! *woot*


8. Raspberry slathered white chocolate cheesecake... YUM. *I'm not diabetic today it's okay*


9. The guy in front of me at McDonald's today order a double cheeseburger with no ketchup. *again, I'm not diabetic today, so it's alright, back off* And why? Ketchup is killer on the double cheeseburger, shameful.


10. Jadie's feeling under the weather. Please wish her well. She rocks, and saved a messed up contract for me today!!


11. Declan is going to need an artistic rendering. Note to self: find an artist.


12. Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself. (Liberace, 1919-1987)

Kleptomania

Medically speaking, kleptomania is "an obsessive impulse to steal regardless of economic need, usually arising from an unconscious symbolic value associated with the stolen item." That is not what happened today at the Grub Kitty.

-

A man attempted to steal some food. He was apprehended until the police arrived, which was rather fast. This all happened as I entered the store. When I left the two officers were escorting the man out in handcuffs.

-

The man was stealing food. Items of necessity that he apparently thought he needed, but was unwilling or unable to pay for. He was not stealing the most recent issue of TV Guide or some useless item. Visually his "economic" need appeared reasonable. I'm not saying it was right. Just that he seemed in need. And don't take any of this as pity for the guy because it was a stupid thing to do. He's an adult and should know better.

-

Now, this is what I don't understand, and maybe you can help me. People in the check-out lines were saying that it's sad. Even the cashier said it was sad, to her. They didn't mean the situation was "sad," as in pathetic. They meant "sad," as in emotion. I said the situation was unfortunate, not sad. The looks I got were evil. *Lucky for them I didn't get ugly, but I was about to.* Then the lady-cashier on the other side said, "I don't feel sorry for his dumb ass, he had it coming!" The grumbling ensued and I just got myself out quickly. So what do you think? Was the situation sad or unfortunate? Or is there a better word for it.

-

Maybe I should have titled this blog as "shop-lifting," but Kleptomaniac is more eye-catching.

FALCO

Alright, I had to make a decision. And when I have a big decision to make I revert to FALCO to help me think. I have done this as a ritual for a long time. When I'm in my car I play music loud. I'm one of those annoying drivers that has the windows down just rockin' away without a care to who's around me. Well, I care, but just not enough to roll my windows up. Falco has been a friend for many years and I particularly like Rock Me Amadeus.

-

I sort of listen to that because it's fun, but also because I need my mind to "rock" around a decision. I don't know if it's the right decision, or where it's going to go. But I have decided to let my Ex back into my life. We have tentatively planned to get together on Sunday afternoon.

-

*bangs head on desk*

Guacamole

Guacamole is another word usually far from my vocabulary. Normally I don't care for the stuff. But I got a hankering for it this afternoon and I don't know why. This is sort of like my relationship with bananas. Normally I detest bananas, but I have come to realize that when my potassium levels are low I get a craving, almost a deep yearning for the yellow fruit. So there must be something about guacamole that I must have needed.

I went to the Grub Kitty and got some to go with baby carrots. Well I wasn't so thrilled about the combination so I had to break out the pretzels. But I did enjoy the guacamole and I think that need has been sated... for now.

-

It was sort of a weird weekend for me. I try to keep to a general routine mostly because of my wonder-mutt. It started getting thrown off when I went out for dinner and drinks with some friends late Friday. Not to worry, I drank responsibly. On the way home I witnessed a car accident. I was the epitome of the existentialist. I ignored it and went home. It was late, probably involved two drunks, wasn't a huge accident and the fact that I had been drinking did occur to me. I woke up Saturday morning and felt fine. Was going to go into work to do the needful and after I had my shower I started getting a headache that just kept getting worse. So I responded to my bodies quest for rest and slept the day away. The Sunday morning ritual of reading the newspaper was delayed for the need to go to work. At work a better part of the day and blah blah blah, out of whack. Now I'm doing laundry late on a Sunday as usual.

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Declan wouldn't be doing laundry this late. Which reminds me; bring on your suggestions and only expect to see him once a week.

Story Time

I went out to dinner with a few friends the other day. JJ has her own blog and I suggested that she should start a "story" blog thinking she could do something cute for her daughter. And, well I got to thinking that I could do the same thing, but do it in my own weird mystical nerd style.

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As you read, make suggestions to give the story twists and turns and I'll consider incorporating your ideas into the story line. My story is about a man named Declan Shaol Amharach. An unusual full-blooded Irish lad born in the USA. He's not your average everyday man. He plays by his own rules, trying to do the right thing, often straying. Let the collaborative story begin:

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It’s not unusual to wake up at 5:35am on a cold January morning. Fresh snow had fallen, but it wasn’t the kind that you could pack real tight into a firm snowball. It was fluffy soft and just the right amount for falling into and taking a little nap. The full moon was on the 22nd and is now nearing the ½ moon phase providing plenty of light glistening off the snow. Waking up on a cold winter morning is one thing. It’s an entirely different experience to wake up with your face being licked by a gray wolf.

Declan rose to his feet so fast he got a bit dizzy. The wolf hopped back with its rump in the air and front paws angled down. “Oh, so you want to play?” he said. He took to the ground and called the wolf over. Hesitantly the wolf came over and eventually licked at the branding on the left side of his neck in the shape of an upward hook to the right. Declan fished out a package from his jacket and gave a piece of jerky to the wolf. “Well, I figure three times a charm, so I’ll call you Hati for now on.”

He stood up again and winced, realizing he had been thrown from his bike, a 2006 Yamaha Star Roadliner. Its retro-design is what caught his eye first. History, or rather a respect for it, is a fascination of his that has haunted his mind since he was born. Hati nudged his leg to say good-bye and ran off into the forest. It was then he realized that Hati was not alone.

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His bike had slid down the road about 40 feet where it rested, all scratched up on the left side, but ready to carry its precious cargo onward south in West Virginia on route 79 to 19 south over to 64 East. His destination is Lynchburg VA. He’d been given a vague warning never to go there. But he knew he had to be there for his birthday, January 29th because that’s when his visions are clearest. But first he needed to tend to his sprained ankle, and he needed a doctor for that.

How Do?

If I were to pick one genre of music that I most prefer, I would have to choose Country. I have my parents to thank for that and Hee Haw. Growing up there were certain shows that we "had" to watch; The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, News, and Hee Haw. Oh, and the Lawrence Welk show, but I'll spare you that wonderful bit of trauma. Among my favorites in the cast were: Buck Owens - Roy Clark - Grandpa Jones - Minnie Pearl - Barbi Benton - LuLu Roman - and the Hager Twins (Jim and Jon)

The funny sketches I most recall had these little ditties:

"Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over, and I thought I'd found true love,
Then you met another, and PFFFT! You was gone!"

"Gloom, despair and agony on me-e!
Deep dark depression, excessive misery-y!
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all!
Gloom, despair and agony on me-e-e!"

"Now, we're not ones to go 'round spreadin' rumors,
Why, really we're just not the gossipy kind,
No, you'll never hear one of us repeating gossip,
So you'd better be sure and listen close the first time!"

Jim Hager died May 1st at the age of 66. He and his brother Jon did a slapstick musical comedy sketch that always made me giggle. I want to get the Hee Haw dvd set and I would imagine as more of these fun folks pass-on special individual collector sets will be made. Thanks for the memories Jim, ...welcome home.

Bluejay

The site of my lawn was simply disturbing. We've had a wet April this year. The grass has grown fast and the weeds even faster. I think dandelions are pretty. I suppose that is a good thing because my neighbors seem not to care to try and kill any. I'm unfortunately in the wind-path of the whiteheads. Try as I might, I'm doomed to have my fair share of the yellow beauties. So, it was about 55 degrees last night and I had a sunny and dry chance to get to mowing. I did just that wearing sweatpants, sweatshirt and a turtleneck. Now that I would like a picture of, because I don't think I've ever been so bundled up to mow the yard.

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Fire up the mower! Swoop! - Swoop! - Swoop! *what on earth?*

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A Blue jay was dive-bombing me. At first I thought he/she was protecting something, so I was looking for where it was flying off to, but it stayed close by. Continue mowing and it continued it's onslaught, but in an odd playful manner. Now, I don't have a small yard. It usually takes me 1.5 hours to mow. And last night I was feeling nice and did the front yards of two of my neighbors. Mostly so the lawns wouldn't look jagged and because I'm a nice guy and well to be honest, I'm obsessive like that. The blue jay was with me the entire time. Started in the back, to the side, to the front. The bird was with me the entire time. It even rested in the spots I had mowed and sat there looking at me as if to say "why ya doin' that mister!" When the noise of the mowing ended, the blue jay flew off. Then took one last swoop in at me and bopped the top of my head and bounced upward. That was a fun mowing experience. I hope he comes back to play.